Don’t get burned by ex’s flirtations

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My former love — a woman like me — has come back to Winnipeg from British Columbia with her new partner. This relationship looks like a real problem just waiting to happen.

I ran into this ex and her girlfriend yesterday. I have lost a lot of weight and I’m looking pretty good these days. Straight away, my ex was flirting with me right in front of her new woman. Now she’s been phoning me to get caught up (so she says).

What does she really want with me? She already has someone in her life and bed. It’s making me mad, but I can’t resist her calls.

The trouble is she broke my heart two years ago when she took off with a woman she met online. It took me too long to get over her. Now she’s back and I feel those stupid fluttery feelings in my stomach. Help.

— Here We Go Again, Winnipeg

Dear Here We Go Again: Some lovers cannot be forgotten, so the feeling can really only settle down, especially given enough distance, but it doesn’t totally die out. Unfortunately, it can still flare back up quickly.

As long as you’re entertaining this ex’s calls, she’s enjoying it. She’s obviously not feeling guilty in regard to the partner she currently has. But what is this doing to your heart?

She’s got two love interests going at once and you have none. Tell her to go back to B.C. and break some hearts there. At the very least you have to tell her to stop the phone calls. It’s enough

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I both have a month off from work to relax and try to get pregnant up at our cabin. To do this, I think we need the cabin to ourselves, but friends and relatives have already heard we’re going there for four weeks. We have a big cabin with a boat and water skis, and people usually come up and have a ball with us.

How do we tell them at this late date to rent their own cabins this summer, when they’re counting on us to entertain them? We’ve got serious baby-making work to do.

— Too Busy For Visitors, central Manitoba

Dear Too Busy: Babies tend to get created faster when people relax, enjoy their lives socially and spend a lot of time “playing” at the right time of the month. Still, it can take quite a few months to get pregnant — or it can happen right away.

So who knows — if you “get busy” without protection now, your wife might be pregnant within a few weeks. Just relax and let the pregnancy be a natural surprise. It comes when it comes.

Meanwhile, accept visits from close friends and relatives who want to spend time with you. Nothing would be worse than forbidding everyone to visit “because we’re trying to make a baby” and then it doesn’t happen all summer.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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