Don’t overthink unexpected avuncular aid

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This article was published 10/08/2023 (1153 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS:I recently went back to my hometown in central Manitoba to visit with my deceased parents’ extended families. My unmarried uncle — a successful businessman — lives in a nice new house there he just bought. I wanted to check it out, so I went over alone.

He was very interested to hear about my business, which is doing well, and he joked I must have gotten some of his genes! Then he left the room, and came back with an envelope. He said he’d never had any children of his own, so he wanted to give me a little something to help with my business, no strings attached. He told me I was not to open it until I got back to the city. Miss L., it was a lot of money — at least to me! Should I accept it?

— Shocked Nephew, south Winnipeg

Dear Shocked:Your uncle said “no strings attached” and he’s a successful business guy who wishes you well. Why not apply that gift to your enterprise, and do your best with it? If something positive happens with that financial boost, share the good news with your uncle. Whatever you do, send him a thank you note right now — that he’ll treasure.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts:My brother’s wife has been coming on to me at the lake — wearing bikinis and taking her top off. She’s been making comments that could be taken in very different ways.

Our husbands are close brothers who go back to town to work, on weekdays. We have rental cabins, side-by-side with our pre-school kids, for all of August. The little cousins love each other, and play together like siblings. I would not want to interrupt their holiday for anything, so I need a solution fast!

I’ve told my sister-in-law I’m not bisexual, and her reply was a smile and, “Don’t you find me attractive?” I said awkwardly, “You’re OK, but I’m not attracted to you, or any woman.” She just smiled and said, “You’re missing out! But if you ever change your mind…” Then she laughed, and went back into her cabin.

I told my husband on the phone, and he said, “Oh, she’s a very friendly girl alright, but I’m not interested either. She came on to me, just once.” What? Should I pack the kids up and go home early, or would that be an overreaction?

— Uncomfortable Sister-In-Law, Gimli

Dear Uncomfortable:Don’t pack! Your husband rejected her, too, and she hasn’t been a problem for him since. It seems she has accepted your refusal as well, and she was just trolling. At this point, there’s no reason to call a halt to this memorable holiday with the two young sets of cousins playing so happily together in the sun.

However, if she repeats this sort of behaviour with either of you, it’s time for a real chat.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has been talking in her sleep and making strange sounds. Last night she called out a guy’s name, and it wasn’t mine. I woke her up, and she said, “Shut up! Get out of my face!” Then she started crying, and apologized.

It turns out she has an old boyfriend who died in a car crash and she dreams about him, or so she says! I don’t know if I even believe that. I also caught her in a small lie last week.

I can feel she’s trouble, but I’ve never had a sex life like this before, and I’m turning 26. Please advise.

— Feeling Nervous, West Kildonan

Dear Nervous:Your brain is telling you to get out now, so do that! You can learn about great sex somewhere less troublesome. The last thing you need is to get tangled up with someone who’s causing you to constantly worry about the relationship’s footing. You don’t need absolute proof to heed your wise inner voice.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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