DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a wicked time trying to get to sleep, and when the sun stays up so long, it’s worse! I lie awake in the half-light and finally fall into a fitful sleep with creepy dreams.

Some people might like to be scared to death, but I don’t! It’s gotten so I stay up watching TV, trying to dodge the deeper dreaming that lies ahead. Do you have any ideas that can help me?

— Summer Nightmares, downtown

Dear Victim of Summer Nightmares: A dear friend of mine who almost lost her life, but finally regained her health, has been the recipient of lots of restorative sleep advice.

Her favourite came from someone who suggested she watch half an hour of comedy every night before she goes to bed — and it really doesn’t matter what. For instance, my friend reports 30 minutes of The Muppet Show sets her up for a happy night’s sleep and good energy the next day.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend is a delightful man to play with — strong, entertaining and physical — but he refuses to limit himself to one woman “if the relationship is not a forever thing.” But nothing is close to being a “forever thing” to my mind anymore.

The “true blue” vow often stops when kids arrive. How do I know? I already have one child — and one husband who’s gone. As my former mate informed me, his needs didn’t magically disappear when the baby was born. My question is, what can actually work?

— Looking to Win, St. Boniface

Dear Looking to Win: Some couples with kids report “anytime sex” works better than expecting regular bedtime romance.

For instance, enjoying sex in the shower after a baby is napping can be refreshing for adults, in various ways. Ditto for times when a trusted adult relative is babysitting a little one at their place, and the happy parents can skip the movie they’d planned to go home and entertain each other.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend would like to be a flight attendant, but she can’t tell me exactly why. She is actively looking into it as a new career. She says she’s bored by her job on the ground which pays good money, but she feels she gets no real “excitement” from it.

I hate the idea of her up in the air all the time, and possibly being in danger during work. What should I say to her? I love her and don’t want her to get hurt. She is getting annoyed with me.

— Worried For Her! Transcona

Dear Worried: Understandably, you’re also worried about little ol’ you, as you’d suffer if anything serious happened to your mate.

That is the problem — and the excitement — of being in love with someone who wants a challenge which comes with the possibility of danger on the job.

Oddly enough, those feelings are part of your attraction to this woman or you’d have broken up with her and be dating a land-loving lady.

You’re going to have to change your taste in women or learn to love this woman even when she’s living with some danger in her life.

You’ll get used to part of it, but maybe not all of it. Good luck in your quest!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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