Stop bickering, snickering over mom’s knickers

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I have a beautiful lingerie collection, and I noticed recently that different items were disappearing from my dresser drawers and then showing back up again a day or two later. At first, I suspected my husband had a fetish for the lingerie himself, but it turns out to be something else.

My 18-year-old daughter has a slightly older boyfriend with his own place, and I know they’re having sex these days. When I spotted a bit of my new two-piece, see-through red “baby-doll” pyjamas sticking out of her purse, I grabbed them — and the fight was on!

I do not like the idea of sharing my intimate garb with my daughter, so I told her sternly to keep her hands off my lingerie collection. I was furious — and she was having a hard time not laughing! I’m at a loss as to how to react to this behaviour.

— Baffled Mom, St. Norbert

Dear Baffled: You can’t turn back the pages on this story! But you can insist your daughter keep her fingers out of your sexy lingerie drawer, and start buying her own. To help ease the tension — and to kick-start your daughter’s own collection — consider giving her a gift card for a local lingerie shop.

While your daughter will be much less likely to pilfer your lingerie now that she’s been caught, you’d still be wise to buy a little locking cabinet or chest to provide a more secure spot to stow your wildest underthings.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: The bald-headed version of my high school crush recently moved back to Winnipeg. I ran into him at my mechanic’s garage where I’ve taken my vehicles all my life.

His long legs were sticking out from under a car, and when he slid himself out, I was looking down at his bald head. “You haven’t changed a bit,” I lied. He sprang up with a big smile and mussed up my curly hair. I must say, he’s still a quite good-looking bad boy.

I also know he’s free these days. He’s on his first divorce and it turns out she cheated on him. I’m single and oh-so-available these days — my last relationship ended a year ago.

He asked me out, and I said yes, and weeks later we’re just crazy about each other. He turns out to be a sweetheart to go out with, but my family only knows him by his old reputation.

I’m 25 and live with my best friend, except that I’m sleeping at my new boyfriend’s place every night now. My parents are “old-world” and they’ve just found out about this, and are making things tough for me now.

What can I do to convince them what a lovely man he is now? He treats me like a queen and says he wants to have kids one day. I even see marriage for us in the future.

Sometimes he even picks me up in his big arms and carries me around the house. I love a big strong guy, but he’s also very gentle. How do I convince my parents he’s actually a very nice man and they should get to know him better?

— Falling Fast, Transcona

Dear Falling Fast: Your parents only know him by his past “bad-boy” reputation, so simply start bringing him to your parents’ place to give them a taste of the grown-up side of him you know and love. They will see how he treats their daughter with love and respect. Then, have the folks over to his place for dinner, and pay back the hospitality.

However, don’t expect this to resolve itself over a weekend. It may take months, but it could be well worth it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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