You’d be well offside dating kid’s sports coach

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: This was a stupid time to fall in lust, but it just happened with my daughter’s sports coach. I am a single dad and I had to look twice when I met this beautiful woman this month. I recognized her from back when I was in university. She’s appears ring-less — not married, I guess — which only made my hopes rise more. I used to stare at her in university, I’m embarrassed to admit. She wound up with some other guy in those days, but I take it she may be free now.

Now what? It probably isn’t cool to date your kid’s coach. I could tell she remembered me the other day and still liked me — laughing at all my little jokes. What’s my next move?

— Can’t Stop Daydreaming, St. James

Dear Daydreaming: You don’t need to know your next move until your daughter’s off this coach’s team. It wouldn’t be professional for a coach to indulge in a romance with a player’s parent. You can flirt a little, but don’t mess up everybody’s situation pushing for anything like a date during the playing season.

It wouldn’t be fun for a kid to be known as the coach’s favourite because their dad is dating her. Plus, what if the romance didn’t go well and your daughter then felt she was unfairly overlooked? You simply can’t win making any kind of move towards this coach at this point. So just be pleasant, helpful and a great guy to be around, and quietly hope for the best when the time is right.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m six months pregnant and I work with my husband. He’s the boss and we own the business. We already have one young boy, who stays at home with a babysitter on weekdays.

I know my husband doesn’t like the look of an obviously-pregnant woman — finds it a turn-off. Last night at a party for people involved in one of his business projects, he was drinking and ogled this young woman walking by. I gave him a dirty look. He then said to me with a smirk, “Sorry, but you’re out of commission.” Like I’m an old car.

I realized then for sure I don’t want to be with this man for the rest of my life. The way he thinks disgusts me! I’m so mad.

I just don’t know how to organize my coming months so I can get through my pregnancy, find a good job somewhere else and then be free of him. Right now, I’m always upset with him—it’s very hard on my health. Please advise.

— Three Months To Go, Southdale

Dear Three Months: You need solid support for the coming birth and the many difficult months following. If you know you’ve definitely had it with this man, you might find some inner peace by starting to make plans now for the next two years of your life. Then after your young child and the new baby are settled somewhat, you can implement your plan to free yourself of this marriage. It would help to avoid huge stress involved in going through a marital split during your final trimester.

Right now that may seem like a long time to wait, but you will be so busy with the new baby and your boy— it may seem to pass quickly.

For now, quietly avail yourself of counseling, and be honest with both your physician and obstetrician about your situation as it stands — ask for ideas for support through this difficult time.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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