You proved you can move on without teen crush

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend from junior high moved away with her parents when we were both in Grade 9, and we were never in contact through high school.

She was awesome and had braces and long wavy red-gold hair that ran down her back. She would sometimes rip out her braid in class and spread her hair across her back with her fingers. I paid attention when she did that. Sometimes she would even ask me to help, and I certainly never forgot that.

Now she is back here for university and found me on Instagram and asked me to hang out. I met her at Assiniboine Park and hardly recognized her. Her red hair still looked wild in the sunshine, though.

Over lunch she said she wanted to thank me for how I treated her like an equal in school. I said, “But you are more than that, and always were.”

She looked sad for a minute, then dropped a bomb. She said she was dating a woman now and they’re quite serious. I was in shock. I thought we were going to pick up where we left off.

Then she asked if we could still be friends. How can we possibly be friends when I’ve fantasized about her ever since she moved away?

— Feel Like Big Loser, Fort Garry

Dear Feel Like Loser: If you could live without her — there was no contact at all after she moved away and you didn’t chase her either — then you’ve got to know this was never meant to be. It seems like neither one of you stayed in contact online either.

Yes, it turns out she seriously desires a female partner, and while that doesn’t say anything about you, it is something you should leave her to explore.

The good news is she’s not the only woman in town with a glorious mane of red hair, and it’s OK to have a preference or even a big turn on for a woman with a certain hair colour.

So, start scanning the university crowd and politely drift towards the people with the fiery hair you love so much.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When I found out my European-born husband was going to surprise me with a dream kitchen in our new home, I was worried. Most modern guys know their wife would want to determine her own design, but he is a bit old-fashioned. Either way, I decided to just go with the flow. Love is love, wherever you find it, and mine is an artistic guy from Italy.

I stayed at a rented cabin with our kids in August to stay out of the way while my man’s work crew raced around. It turns out his mother designed the kitchen for us so we could host big and small parties.

I was slightly horrified at first when I found out she was taking control and doing everything from the position that we should be hosting more parties. However, it turned out just great in the end.

We now have a kitchen in what my friends call a modern, yet rustic, Italian theme, but it is different from every other house on the block and quite done well.

I just want to encourage all the people out there who worry about not being in control to take a chance once in a while, especially for someone you love.

— OK to Let Go, Winnipeg

Dear OK to Let Go: One of the greatest things about Canada is the collection of people who share their cultural influences and everything else they contribute from their unique ways of life. Too often we see people who just want to repeat trends they see other people adopting locally and online.

It’s great when someone from another culture can inject some new style into whatever it is they are creating or updating. You were gracious enough to relax and welcome novel design choices, and your life has been enriched in ways you could never have imagined before.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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