Tough to stomach date’s lack of compassion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I had dinner with my new guy at a fancy restaurant — his treat — and ate something that didn’t agree with me. I ended up in the restaurant bathroom, throwing the expensive dinner up. My date was actually vulgar about it — not sympathetic or taking things with a sense of humour at all.

He was so disgusted he called a taxi to take me home so I wouldn’t end up throwing up in his precious car. I cancelled the taxi and called my family, and my father and brother came right away. They wanted to ring his neck!

I’d never have reacted so cruelly if my date had gotten sick at a restaurant.

This guy has since called to see if I’m “back to normal.” He casually asked if I wanted to give it another try. I just didn’t have the desire to talk with him anymore, so I hung up. Is this my problem? Am I “over-reacting” as he has told other people I know?

— Sensitive Stomach, River Heights

Dear Sensitive: You’re not over-reacting, and this was more than a mismatch in maturity! Calling the taxi to save his car upholstery was particularly obnoxious and uncaring! This guy is rude and insensitive, and deserved to be shown the quickest exit ramp. He was lucky your dad didn’t give him and his parents a call, to advise them of his atrocious behaviour.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This summer my young aunt came to visit us from “the old country” for the first time ever. She was the baby of my mother’s large family, and my mom was the first-born child — they are close to 20 years difference in age. My grandmother overseas had children for a very long time!

I’d only heard stories of Mom’s youngest sister, read some old letters about her and seen a few old photos, so she wasn’t real to me — until she arrived. When she got off the plane this summer, I felt like I was looking at my twin! We quickly bonded and I didn’t want her to go back home.

Now she’s gone and I cried my eyes out for two weeks. I need her back here — not far away across an ocean — and she says she’s missing me badly, too. What can we do?

Mom says our family could possibly bring her back next summer if she wants to come, but not before, as money’s tight. That’s a whole year away from each other! Now what?

— Missing My ‘Twin,’ Winnipeg

Dear Missing My Twin: This would be the time to look for a part-time job and save up money to help with the expensive task of getting your new favourite relative back here next summer, if she still wants to come

In the meantime, shorten the wait by accessing many ways of staying in touch in addition to the high-tech — like letters and postcards or photos of places your “twin” saw with you when she was here. While you should definitely make use of FaceTime or Zoom to communicate so you can see each other’s faces, the personal touch of handwritten letters can go a long way in building a real bond..

All the best with your new family fave!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was at a popular beach with my wife and young children recently when a good-looking guy and his lady walked by hand-in-hand. As soon as they were past a few steps, he turned back and waved at my wife — and she blew him a kiss. What?

She said he was a guy she went to high school with, and they always blew each other kisses when coming and going. Well, isn’t that sweet! Tell me, why is it still bothering me a week or more later?

— Feeling Discounted, St. Boniface

Dear Discounted: It’s bugging you because you think she still has special feelings for him when she was just remembering an old “hi-bye” sweet thing they used to do. Let it go! It doesn’t mean she’s back in love or in lust with this guy, she’s just responding to a little flirty thing they used to do.

Turn it around! If you saw an old girlfriend somewhere and made some old signal you used to exchange, it wouldn’t mean you were chasing her again. It’s just a harmless remembrance of sweet things past.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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