Shock ‘merger’ of biz partner, son a lot to unpack

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/05/2023 (1234 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a woman in my 40s and live with my son, 22, who’s in university. Last week I went back to work one evening, and walked in on my female business partner — in her early 30s — having sex with my son on my office couch! I screamed and ran out.

I still can’t believe what happened. It’s been four days, and she hasn’t been back to the office — and my son isn’t sleeping at home. He just sneaks in and out for clothes and books. I’m beside myself! This was my business and I stupidly let that woman in, because she was such a good worker. And what do I say to my son? I’ve done drive-bys, and his car is at her house all night.

— Deeply Upset, south Winnipeg

Dear Deeply Upset: The biggest thing needed between business partners is solid trust. If this woman could go behind your back — having a sexual relationship with your son when the office is closed — what else is she capable of? Call your lawyer and accountant immediately about dissolution of the partnership.

She and your son will decide what they want to do about their relationship. It could be an act of defiance by both of them towards you. Maybe that’s why they were on your couch. But they might actually have an emotional relationship that’s developed.

Consider seeing a psychologist to help work things out in your own mind, as you have a lot to handle. Also, you won’t want to blow sky-high and lose your young son, even if you’re shocked and angry.

The upside of this? You found out your business partner was happily deceiving you, and that’s valuable information to finally have. As for your son, it’s high time “the boy” moved out, and got a job that supports him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I live with a woman who’s obsessed with collecting things. She’s always bringing home more junk on the weekends to “my” house. She’s also busy making deals with people through classified ads to buy and sell bigger things — and our garage is quickly filling up. I hate this!

I play sports in my spare time; she fills our house with junk in hers. How does a guy like me find balance with a pack rat? I love her, I guess — certainly in bed! — but when we met I had no idea she was always buying stuff! Now it’s skyrocketing.

— Need Room to Breathe, The Maples

Dear Room to Breathe: Sexual compatibility is easier to find than personalities that mesh. Already, you’re finding it hard to breathe with this “pack rat” as a housemate. It’s only going to get worse, particularly if you’re leaving her alone all the time while you’re out playing sports. Pack rats are programmed to fill empty spaces.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I bought a little dog with the guy I was living with, and we just split up. He insists he wants to come see the dog once or twice a week, as his parents won’t allow him to have a pet in their house where he’s now living.

I said OK to it at first, but it feels like he’s making excuses to be around me. He was never all that interested in the dog. Should I cut him off? Is that too mean?

— Loving Dog “Mom,” River Heights

Dear Dog Mom: Talk to your ex about taking the furry friend for walks to the park, not just visiting at your place. If it’s the dog he really wants to see, he’ll do that. It not, you must tell him clearly, “You won’t be part of any more in-house dog visitations.” It’s truly a breakup, not just a break. He needs to understand that difference.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography