The naked truth is you may be mismatched

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I knew my girlfriend was a private nudist in her tiny house, but I thought she’d drop that whole crazy thing when she moved in with me to my big place with a pool.

Apparently, she thought I’d come over to her way of thinking and imagined we’d both walk around naked and have hooks by the front door with kimonos to grab in a hurry. But, no — that’s not happening.

Instead, she’s nude all the time and peeks her face around the door to see who’s on the doorstep. If it’s one of her nudist friends, she just opens the door wide and lets them in.

I got a laugh out of it when she first moved in but at this point, there have been more than a few delivery people come to the door, or one of my friends, and then I hear, “Hold on! Gotta get dressed!” yelled out the door. She’s basically telling them she’s naked — I don’t find that cute or funny.

Maybe I should mention she’s nine years younger. We fought again recently, and she said she never would have moved in with me if she thought I was going to be so conservative and uptight. Please advise me quickly. I’m losing it with her.

— Nudist Nonsense, East Kildonan

Dear Nudist Nonsense: Your mate sounds like a free spirit who, unlike you, needs like-minded, nudist friends to enjoy her lifestyle fully. There’s nothing wrong with either lifestyle, if both members of a couple are in sync. But you two are mismatched, in ways that won’t get better with time.

Start asking yourself what you two still share together these days. If it’s not more than the pool and sex, then this fall and winter could feel very long. A better match for you would be a woman who likes to keep her clothes on, except for when you’re alone and intimate.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a man in my late 20s who got ditched at the beginning of the summer — and now suddenly I’m hurting more.

In this city, there’s plenty of room to live far apart from someone you can’t bear to see. So when my ex-love rented a fancy condo I can see from my own place, I was shocked.

Does she want me back? Is she jealous? I know the guy she has now, as I introduced her to him at softball. I can tell she wants to rub that in. I see his big truck parked beside hers in the morning as I drive past to go to work.

Why would she buy a place so close to mine if she wants him? I was already hurting when she left me in July, and now it’s worse! I can’t afford to move again, and why should I? Please help me deal with this.

— Boiling Angry, Westwood

Dear Boiling: To get this emotionally dangerous ex out of your sight and lessen the daily pain, start taking a different route out of your neighbourhood to go to work.

Also, ask your physician to set you up with a relationship counsellor or psychologist to work this out, so seeing this woman and the poor guy who has her now don’t bother you as much. In fact, you should feel sorry for this guy, because this woman seems somewhat unbalanced in needing to live within sight of you to show you who she’s playing with now.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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