Help sis see you both have right to choose

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 23/05/2024 (505 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 22 years old, and originally from a more conservative country where women don’t show their hair — but I’m now coming out as a less covered up woman, and it’s with my parents’ approval! This week I started letting my wavy black hair show. It’s long, beautiful and I am so proud of it.

My very conservative younger sister wanted to know who I’m showing off for. I could only answer, “Me!” She said, “Everybody will see it. What will they think?”

Then I got angry and told her “I’ll wear my hair down and showing if I want to, and anywhere I want to.” She yelled, “Well, it looks like you’re advertising for sex with a man!” Her face tightened right up, and she went away crying. What am I supposed to do?

— Upset Sister, Winnipeg

Dear Sister: Your folks need to have a talk with your younger sister at some length and explain why they are going along with your new appearance. You are clearly the wrong person to explain to her that you are adjusting to Western society, where showing one’s hair doesn’t have any kind of negative connotation.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a talented, sexy man years ago at the Winnipeg Folk Festival, and we had a wonderful time. For a couple years, we’d arrange to find each other at different festivals and always “get together” for those wonderful nights. Then he just disappeared off the face of the Earth!

I could not get hold of him and I finally gave up, realizing I was always available to him online or by phone, and he knows how to use a phone. Finally, I found out through the festival “spy” network he married a couple of years ago, and had a kid. In my mind and my heart, I just gave up.

Well, wouldn’t you know it — last week I got news he was coming back for this summer’s fest and he’s free again and no longer married.

I should not care, but the bottom line is I’m dying of curiosity to see him again. I was pretty hurt when he dropped me cold and wouldn’t reply to any of my attempts at communication.

Am I being a fool to try to at least see him for one night for old times’ sake?

— Dreaming of Him Again, Transcona

Dear Dreaming Again: A teaching manual on coping with romantic quandaries might say, “Yes, you’re a fool, but you have lots of company!”

Lovers who have no idea why they were dropped after a romance tied to a special event like a music festival often want to see that person just one more time — even if it’s just to tell them off. It’s only natural.

If you haven’t been able to find this guy online, he was probably going under a different name — a smart idea if you’re suddenly married and don’t want the old festival flames finding you.

If he was hiding from you, what does that say about his opinion of you?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography