Set some ground rules for the pumpkin patch

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This article was published 16/10/2023 (1072 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband laughed when I wanted to grow pumpkins on our little hobby farm, but now he’s not laughing so loudly. They are big and amazing, and he’s always out there checking on them. People who know him are phoning up to ask if they can buy jack-o’-lanterns from him, so now he’s become “Farmer Joe” out there in my precious pumpkin patch, dispensing way too many from my prize crop!

My question? I grew them to give them away free to our friend and neighbours, but he’s wanting to get into the business of selling them, just like other stuff on our farm. This is my thing; it’s a labour of love, and I want to give them all away. Who do you think is right?

— Pumpkin Love, Winnipeg suburbs

Dear Pumpkin Love: Stop. You’re both right! Denying regular customers pumpkins may be too uncomfortable for Farmer Joe when he’s selling everything else. People can see the orange lovelies, and it’s nearing Halloween, so they’ll be putting pressure on your man.

So give him a portion of your pumpkins to sell, but hide away your most coveted specimens in a shed so you can gift them yourself. Next year, you and your man can divvy up the growing areas, so you can nurture the freebies and your husband can grow pumpkins for the paying patrons.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My young wife fancies herself some kind of exotic witch all year round. Sometimes I think she and her best friends get out of control with spells and mumbling stuff over a candle or a pot of water.

I’ve never seen anything come of those spells, although last year I started growing a considerable patch of grey hair — and she took credit for wishing it on me!

I think she’s a little nuts, but I love her. I must say she’s never boring like my buddies’ Canadian-born wives.

The only trouble with my wife is I don’t understand what she’s saying when she talks with her friends and I resent that a lot. I was thinking of secretly studying her language and then surprising her for a change, telling the secrets I’ve found out listening to her and her friends. What do you think? Am I an idiot, or just a guy who’s finally head-over-heels in love at 38?

— Second-Marriage Questions, Wolseley

Dear Questions: No need to secretly study your beloved’s language, my friend! If you openly study the language and embrace her culture, she’ll get a much bigger kick out of it, and love you all the more for it.

You may think she left her world behind, but she brought it all with her in her heart, and has learned the English language and embraced Canadian culture to better understand you and show her love for you.

Learning her language makes all kinds of sense. She’s putting out extra energy every day, living in a relatively new culture 24-7 — except when she sees her friends from back home. Do you know what a relief it must be, to be 100 per cent understood when she’s with them?

Some couples of different cultures develop a kind of informal private language for when they aren’t in front of other people. In the bedroom, they use words of love and passion from their two different worlds, and it livens up their sex lives.

You have a real opportunity here to create a special life together combining your two languages and the best of your two cultures. Enjoy!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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