Being upfront about your stature is best strategy

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This article was published 05/06/2023 (1173 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a short guy (five-foot-three) and I love women! I find them all beautiful, but I’m struggling to find second dates, because of my height.

I take a nice head-and-shoulders photo, so I get the dinner dates, and I’m sure to arrive early and get seated. Things usually go pretty well, because I’m a funny guy, but when we stand up to part ways my dates always seem to make up some excuse to never go out together!

I know being short isn’t what a lot of women want, but there have to be some who are OK with it. I’m having a hard time staying optimistic.

— Short King, West End

Dear Short King: Since a man’s height is an issue for a lot of women, it’d be wise to find out how tall your prospective dates are ahead of time, and mention casually that you’re “not tall,” so it isn’t a surprise.

More importantly, you need to stop doing more of what doesn’t work, like trying hide your stature by taking your seat first. There are plenty of potential mates who don’t have issues with height, so it’s best not to try to obscure yours, and then face the inevitable letdown.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My father-in-law referred to my wife (his own daughter) as “slutty“ in front of me. I lost it and told him off. Granted, he wasn’t referring to her behaviour now, but it was just another spoke in the wheel of disrespect to my dear wife.

She doesn’t respect him either. Who could? He’s a wealthy, opinionated guy who frequently runs down his family after inviting them over for dinner.

I told him if he ever called my wife that again, I’d make sure it was the last thing he’d ever said through teeth. He took it poorly and we are not speaking.

My wife is now feeling guilty, despite the fact her father insulted her. To my mind, I don’t owe this man an apology. Maybe I took it a bit too far, but I’m not going to let anyone call my wife something like that.

— Meant What I Said, Riverbend

Dear Meant It: You could mend this relationship, without apologizing. It’s not like you haven’t already made your point. Big Daddy will remember what you said about his teeth turning into broken Chiclets.

This is how the family truce could work: Your wife and her mother talk it over, and Mom brings the polite wording of a truce to her husband, in which he basically promises he’ll never say anything of that sort again. He must agree to it verbally, but that’s it. Signing it would be pushing things too hard. As for future family dinners, they’re probably best convened in restaurants, though not in private dining rooms.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sister owes me $90 she borrowed to finish her gift-buying last Christmas. When I asked her for it in February she said, “Keep your shirt on!”

I’ve been simmering ever since. I want my money back, and I know she has more than $120 cash in her underwear drawer. Should I just take my $90 and leave her a note saying, “Thanks for finally paying me back the $90 you owed me from Christmas shopping?”

— Furious Sister, Elmwood

Dear Furious: Grabbing the money would be an provocative move — akin to stealing. Instead, talk to your mom about the cash owed to you, and how much your sister has stashed. Ask Mom to demand the money comes back into your possession, immediately. You can’t grab it, but your parent has the authority to demand it happens.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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