Bloviating ingrate simply doesn’t rate

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was at a party with my younger boyfriend, and I overheard him in another room talking loudly with his friends.

They were all bombed, guzzling beer and rating their girlfriends’ looks. I was listening for my guy to chime in. He finally said I was “a five without makeup, a 6 1/2 with it, but her great personality makes up for the rest.”

I can’t believe he would say that to other people, but he was drinking a lot — disgusting. I’m thinking of leaving him. What do you think?

— ‘Five Without Makeup,’ Osborne Village

Dear ‘Five’: It’s time to junk this disrespectful guy and to tell him exactly why. You could even ask him if he would like a rundown of his physical faults, but leave before you actually do that, as you don’t want to stoop to his crass behaviour.

Also, don’t repeat what this idiot said about you to your girlfriends looking for their comfort. It would probably just get repeated word-for-word to plenty of others, and you really don’t want that going around.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a serial job-quitter and I’m at the end of my rope with her. I can’t leave because we have young kids, but they’re going to start noticing soon how their mom flakes out on every employer she ever has.

While I knew it was a problem going in, I always thought we would be able to get past it. I make good money, so I knew I could cover our bills if there were problems.

But now it’s gotten to the point where she gets bored regularly and ends up out looking for a new job two or three times a year.

Every single job she lands, she finds some problem with the work or the staff, gets all emotional and then quits in a huff.

I just told her this nonsense really bothers me, and she acted like a victim, spouting “poor me” garbage. I just can’t figure her out.

— Married to a Flake? River East

Dear Married to a Flake: Even with her petulant behaviour, an element of it really may be that jobs she’s taken are not satisfying to her in any way. So why not consider helping your wife make a plan to find work that actually interests her?

She may even be thinking now, “It might be better to stay home with the kids than to start and quit jobs repeatedly.”

Since you mention you don’t really need her income to remain afloat financially, could you possibly support your wife in being a happy stay-at-home mother?

If that’s the case, she might end up finding a part-time job, taking up a hobby or working with a charity to get herself out of the house and to enjoy some adult company a few times a week. Such a situation may even help smooth things between you two at home.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m dating a divorced man who is 12 years older than me. Part of what attracted me to him was his drive and his job.

He’s an executive, sits on several different boards and is highly creative.

I’m turning 30 this week — a big birthday for me. I didn’t say anything, as I thought he would eventually tell me his plan for my big day.

Last week, I was getting anxious and texted him to ask what he had planned for me, and his reply was, “I dunno, what d’you wanna do?”

This man often works 10-hour days at a very creative job and he can’t even come up with an idea for dinner or something?

I’m blown away. We’ve been together for a year-and-a-half and this is a milestone birthday for me, so I can’t help but feel hurt.

— Feel Like Chopped Liver, Whyte Ridge

Dear Chopped Liver: Why are you chasing an older man who acts more like your dad than a romantic partner? A lot of things you look forward to enjoying are just old hat to him. He may be thinking, “I did those things on birthdays with the kids and the ex, already.”

Give yourself the birthday gift of a series of counselling sessions, where you figure out why you’re dating this older guy who’s devoted to his work, but clearly not very devoted to you. Stop being overly impressed by the work he does and the boards he’s on.

You’re in a personal relationship with this man and it should be fun, loving and intimate and you two should be devoted to each other. That’s not happening.

He’s giving you the “been there, done that with someone else” attitude.

Talk in depth with a counsellor about why you’re burying your own youth and hanging onto this guy’s coattails. It might be time to jump ship, and you have the strong young legs to do it.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.