DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was secretly looking forward to being Boss Witch this Halloween. I’m a good-looking woman, and my new love thinks I’m quite sexy. But he just requested I fulfil a Halloween sex fantasy of his — including costume and masks — where he directs the whole show. Now the pressure is on, and I am turning off.

We’re just too much alike! In the past, I’ve come up with great fantasy nights for Halloween, and my men in those times were willing to play a subordinate role if that’s what I asked. But this new man wants a turn “directing” the show! I do not feel excited thinking about that. What should I do?

— Always Been In Charge, Elmwood

Dear Always Been In Charge: It’s not too late to make a deal where you both introduce a short fantasy to play out on Halloween night. And make it well clear that you each will have an opt-out safe-word that must be respected by the one of you “in charge” at the time. This way you can accommodate your new love’s fantasy without locking yourself into something you’re unsure about.

While the trick-or-treaters are still coming by for loot, just enjoy some scary TV and talking about the rest of the upcoming night, until they’re all good and gone. Interruptions would not be good for anyone here.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My memories of Halloween are great, but my new husband’s memories are not. He wants to go over to his brother’s house to watch sports with the lights out and the curtains closed — no handing out treats. I’m invited, but I’m sure as heck not going there!

He says I’ll be “abandoning” him to celebrate with my sister at our house — so he might as well go “where it’s safe” for him. It’s plenty safe at our house! But he doesn’t want to hear young voices shouting annoying things like “Trick or Treat, smell my feet!” I don’t know what horrors befell him in his childhood to make him so skittish at Halloween. He just won’t talk about those days.

Bottom line? My sister’s going to come over in costume, and we’ll put green lights around the window and door and a cauldron in the front yard to dance around and play ghostly music. Woo-hoo! But I’ll still be missing my new husband all evening, and I love him so!

My question to you: How do you get a grown adult to abandon their fears of Halloween, and get with my fun program?

— Not a Fraidy Cat! West End

Dear Not a Fraidy Cat: Your husband needs to see a counsellor who won’t treat him like a “Fraidy Cat,” and will help him sort through the fears and the bad experiences that have brought him to the point where he can’t participate in Halloween. That’s even if you, his new beloved, are there with him.

Consider gifting him with a few counselling sessions — alone at first — because he needs privacy and no one else’s judgement. Then, he might invite you to join him for a session or two to help you better understand him.

If that works out, he may not end up loving Halloween, but it will probably not be such a monumental annual fear anymore.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My old boyfriend has come back, and I think he’s still a prince!

We’re both in our early 50s and went to school in the same class together — and then my family moved away. I re-met him at a small reunion of our old class, but he had a lady friend then. Now he’s free and wanting to see me!

But here’s the problem. He runs with a crowd that curls almost daily. What should I do? I can’t keep up with that, and I will spoil his time on the ice by seemingly disapproving of its importance. If I don’t curl, I don’t stand a chance with him!

— Nervous, But Very Interested, East Kildonan

Dear Nervous: If curling is necessary for him to stay together with a woman, you have two choices. You might consider some curling lessons — from him or from an instructor. They could be fun, and curling is a great sport and very social environment. Or, you could spend a lot of time cheering him on during curling season, and maybe acting as scorekeeper or in some role with his team. But at the rate he likes to curl, that could easily wear thin for you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.