Chalk surprise gift up to lust, not love

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just got a funny birthday card and a single pink rose delivered to me at work from a boyfriend who broke up with me last spring because I’d gotten too serious (in his opinion). I cried for days back then. He ignored his phone.

I don’t know how to respond to him now. Do you think he’s really had a change of heart, or has he just not gotten lucky for a long time and thought I might be open to hooking up on my birthday?

— Suspicious Ex, Downtown

Dear Suspicious Ex: You just received a birthday card, a single pink rose and no voice contact? He wasn’t taking any chances on being shot down face-to-face, but he definitely is taking a stab at possibly getting some action.

You have lots of choices now, including doing nothing, just thanking him via message or just continuing to move on to look for the real thing.

This relationship really doesn’t warrant an attempt at revival.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This guy and I both tend to hit the grocery store at the same time where we get off the bus after work. We know where the other person works, and we actually have a few common friends who have vouched for us as good people. That’s important these days.

Now we’ve moved on to holding foods up for comparison in the store and making funny remarks. We always start off in the produce aisles together.

I would really like to go somewhere for a drink and something to eat with him, but I don’t have the nerve to ask. I see he’s not wearing a ring. Help.

— Shy Shopper, Corydon

Dear Shy Shopper: Check out the bars and restaurants near your bus stop and be prepared ahead of time. Have two or three to suggest when you’re getting off the bus together and heading into the store. That will give you a few minutes to chat, get away from the weather and warm up to each other. Good luck to you both.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s a lot of fighting going on in my family. At this rate, we won’t be getting together for the customary big get-togethers at Christmas. The bickering is about who got left what in terms of money, property and vehicles after my two grandparents’ recent deaths.

It really doesn’t make that much difference monetarily to me, but there are older people who did a lot for the grandparents, and those who did nothing, and the differences didn’t go unnoticed. It was all reflected in the dollar figures awarded by our wealthy grandparents.

How do we get over this crummy mess before the holidays when we usually get together and have a wonderful time? We may never again do it at this rate.

— Worried Grandson, St. James

Dear Worried Grandson: Speak with the relatives you get along with best about how your grandparents would have wanted everybody to behave during the first holiday season after they were gone. Maybe you can be a voice of reason and get people organized around that idea, so they can put grievances aside to enjoy the special season with family again this year.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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