Second go-round proves to be a real let-down

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This article was published 12/11/2025 (338 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: When my Winnipeg girlfriend got tired of me in the spring I got a summer job out of the province and recovered in the arms of another woman. She and I were great pals and sex buddies, but not a forever love match.

My old girlfriend lost her summer love in September, so she took lonely old me back. It’s just all right this time, but really not what the relationship was before at its best. I still love her, but I don’t like her or trust her so much now. Deep down, I’m still angry.

And now, my sweet summer sex buddy has taken a job in Toronto and contacted me to see if I would be interested in joining her there for a week holiday from Christmas to New Year’s Day.

I’m really tempted. I love the huge fireworks shows on New Year’s Eve in major cities. Should I jump back in with her? We’re probably not permanent, but she gets a big kick out of me and it’s good for my ego.

Plus, I’ve been feeling somewhat lonely — even though I’m back with my old ex.

— Dating Dilemma, River Heights

Dear Dilemma: It sounds like you’re pretty ready to buy a plane ticket to Toronto right now, and why not do it? You don’t owe your soul to the yo-yo girlfriend in Winnipeg who dumped you in the spring and took you back this autumn to use for a little while.

Between buying the ticket to Toronto, and the messages and calls back and forth with your summer sweetheart, you’ll likely feel somewhat blissful from now until you get to visit her over the holiday — rather than blue and unloved.

So fly out east and visit a woman you already know is lots of fun.

Even if this is not a forever thing for the two of you, why miss out on this uplifting experience and Toronto’s famous New Year’s Eve waterfront fireworks display? It will certainly ease your loneliness over the festive season.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a bisexual man, and for me connection is all about someone’s personality and the soul. But my new lady doesn’t believe we could ever have a permanent relationship because she can’t provide the sexual experience of both a woman and a man for me.

How can I convince her I don’t need both once I have a real lover and all the emotions? It’s not some kind of competition or about me having to check both boxes to be fulfilled.

Yes, I suppose I technically had the choice of either a man or woman to be with, but I chose her.

— Capable of Commitment, East Kildonan

Dear Capable: Your new mate thinks you’ll grow weary of her sexually. She feels insecure in the role of providing everything she thinks you might need sexually.

Who knows if you two are meant to be forever loves, but you can try it out for a time and see how it goes. Maybe she’ll come to understand you better emotionally and trust you more and your connection will deepen.

Some people who are bisexual don’t feel a need to express both sides of their sexuality once they find their special person for life and are pretty much satisfied with them.

For others, bisexual desires may only be expressed in their fantasy life and dreams.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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