Party blackout signals need for serious reflection

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m not really an alcoholic or that much into drugs, but my friends brought me home from a big party that I don’t remember at all.

Read this article for free:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/01/2025 (552 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m not really an alcoholic or that much into drugs, but my friends brought me home from a big party that I don’t remember at all.

Plus, I had a sex-related note written in black marker on my back — supposedly from a guy. I didn’t know it was there until one of my roommates (who was at the party) saw me going into the shower and read it to me. She laughed, but I started crying.

I’m really upset now. I don’t remember my shirt coming off at that party or who wrote on my back. Maybe I was asleep or passed out. I’d been drinking for sure and there were some drugs around. Please help me.

— Sick and Worried, Winnipeg

Dear Sick and Worried: No one in your friend crew has had the guts to confess what really happened. In fact, those people — your own friends — are most likely the people who were writing on your bare back for a laugh.

True friends don’t take part in practical jokes at a buddy’s expense. It’s time to look at who you’re trusting and start making some changes in the quality of people you allow into your world.

It’s also time to look inwards. Take a hard look at what you’re putting into your body and how it leaves you vulnerable and puts you in danger. It appears drugs and alcohol are not your friends — and that’s true for all of us.

If you want to start making better choices in your life, a counsellor or psychologist could set you up with the specific types of help you may need to navigate this. You don’t have to go it alone.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend went travelling around Europe without me in the fall. He said I was too young at just 21 to go with him. (He was 24 when he left.) He said he was going for a year before he came back and settled down for good. I had hoped that meant settling down with me because I loved him so much, but he broke up with me two weeks before he left on his trip.

Now I get the biggest shock. I just heard my ex-boyfriend is coming home from Europe soon — less than halfway through his planned travels — and he’ll have his pregnant fiancée with him. What? I had to call my friends for support.

Word of my freakout got around fast, including to my ex’s mom. Then I finally heard online from my ex. He was furious at me for “flapping my big mouth.” I said very little back.

I hear from mutual friends that he intends to give me a real blast when he gets here. What should I do? I’m excited to see him, but I’m anxious.

— So Nervous, northern Manitoba

Dear Nervous: Well, you certainly got that world traveller’s attention. When your ex arrives home with his pregnant partner and phones to tell you off, hold the phone away from your ear. When he stops roaring, just speak four simple phrases to shut things down: “Handle your own life. Deal with your own people. I’m getting on with my own life. Goodbye for good.”

Then it’s really time to start looking for a new sweetheart you can enjoy to the fullest and stop thinking about this ex.

You two were never meant to be for the long haul. There is a better match down the road for you, but you’ll have to let yourself get over this breakup first.

That doesn’t mean you have to instantly forgive your travelling ex, but take a month or two to dim him down in your memory and look for someone better in the spring.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Crop storage headaches loom on horizon

Laura Rance-Unger 4 minute read Preview

Crop storage headaches loom on horizon

Laura Rance-Unger 4 minute read Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

A sense of calm descends over Prairie fields this time of year — at least on the surface.

Activities become more limited in the weeks leading up to harvest. There’s not much farmers can do now to support this year’s crop, other than monitor and protect it from diseases such as sclerotinia in canola and leaf stripe and fusarium head blight in wheat and barley.

July is when you might see farmers wading into a thick stand of canola, conducting a so-called “wet pants test” to get a low-tech read on how much disease-inducing moisture is lurking in the canopy.

Disease pressure is high in a humid, hot summer like this one and it’s kept aerial applicators busy applying fungicides. Sclerotinia spores live on plant residues in the soil and blossom into a mould that destroys the canola stem, starving the maturing pods.

Read
Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

Netflix comedy set will make you think

Alison Gillmor  5 minute read Preview

Netflix comedy set will make you think

Alison Gillmor  5 minute read Friday, Jul. 6, 2018

The title of Hannah Gadsby’s new 70-minute comedy set (currently available on Netflix) has absolutely nothing to do with the material. The 40-year-old Aussie standup makes that clear right away: Nanette is someone she met in a café, a possibly interesting woman who turned out not to be, and that is the last we hear of her.

Instead, this wonderfully misleading title signals that whatever we are expecting will not be what we get. And that is the whole point of this show, a funny, powerful bait-and-switch ploy that uses comedy to deconstruct comedy.

Gadsby keeps the paradoxes coming in this farewell-to-comedy tour that has actually launched her international career. She tells jokes — lightly, casually, almost shyly — and then circles around and comes back to them, forcing us to confront the pain that was hiding in plain sight.

Like one of those thrillers where a twist ending reveals everything that has come before in a new and blinding light, Nanette forces a tough and timely re-evaluation of humour and its tricky relations with power, trauma and misogyny. Watching Nanette in the #MeToo era of comedy, you’ll laugh. You’ll cry. Most of all, you’ll think.

Read
Friday, Jul. 6, 2018

Sagkeeng's scars: colonization has left a traumatic imprint

Ryan Thorpe  39 minute read Preview

Sagkeeng's scars: colonization has left a traumatic imprint

Ryan Thorpe  39 minute read Friday, Jul. 23, 2021

At the mouth of the river.

In Anishinaabemowin, that is what “Sagkeeng” means. It is what the people of Sagkeeng First Nation have called their homeland, located on the lush banks of the powerful Winnipeg River, since time immemorial.

The Canadian government would rename that land the Fort Alexander Indian Reserve, as federal agents carved new territorial boundaries out of the countryside in the aftermath of the signing of Treaty 1.

But in the language of the people who call it home, it has always been Sagkeeng.

Read
Friday, Jul. 23, 2021

School funding increase called skimpy in light of escalating expenses

Maggie Macintosh 6 minute read Preview

School funding increase called skimpy in light of escalating expenses

Maggie Macintosh 6 minute read Friday, Feb. 4, 2022

Annual operational funding for public school divisions that are strapped for cash, owing to expenses related to COVID-19, staff wage settlements, and a surge in the cost of living, will not keep up with inflation in 2022-23 — for another consecutive year.

Kindergarten to Grade 12 schools will receive $120 million in provincial funding next year to undertake regular operations and address new cost pressures, Manitoba Education announced Friday.

That sum includes base funding of $20.2 million for public and independent schools, a one-time $77-million allotment to address current financial strains, and a $23.2-million grant (the equivalent of a two per cent tax hike) to make up for a mandated freeze of education property taxes, as the province works toward phasing out the tax.

Education Minister Wayne Ewasko touted the commitment as one that will both ensure divisions have the resources required so that all students can succeed, no matter where they live in the province, and reduce the tax burden on residents.

Read
Friday, Feb. 4, 2022

Philippines reports world's 1st virus death outside China

The Associated Press 6 minute read Preview

Philippines reports world's 1st virus death outside China

The Associated Press 6 minute read Sunday, Feb. 2, 2020

BEIJING - The first death outside China from the new coronavirus was recorded Sunday in the Philippines, as countries around the world evacuated hundreds of their citizens from the infection zone and Chinese authorities completed a new, rapidly constructed 1,000-bed hospital for victims of the outbreak.

Chinese authorities also delayed the reopening of schools in the hardest-hit province and tightened the quarantine in one city by allowing only one family member to venture out to buy supplies.

The Philippine Health Department said a 44-year-old Chinese man from Wuhan, the city at the centre of the crisis, was hospitalized Jan. 25 with a fever, cough and sore throat and died after developing severe pneumonia. The man's 38-year-old female companion, also from Wuhan, tested positive for the virus as well and remained hospitalized in isolation in Manila.

Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte approved a ban on the entry of all non-citizens from China. The U.S., Japan, Singapore and Australia have imposed similar restrictions despite criticism from China and an assessment from the World Health Organization that such measures were unnecessarily hurting trade and travel.

Read
Sunday, Feb. 2, 2020

Housing-first initiative aims to offer city’s homeless dignity, understanding

Joshua Frey-Sam 6 minute read Preview

Housing-first initiative aims to offer city’s homeless dignity, understanding

Joshua Frey-Sam 6 minute read Monday, Dec. 5, 2022

Ken St. George has dedicated the last 20 years to taking care of people in the community-health sector. Now he will enact the Housing First model in Winnipeg for the first time.

Read
Monday, Dec. 5, 2022