Real love and compatibility can bridge age gap

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/05/2024 (854 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a heavier 46-year-old guy and my female lover is 62, and a real athlete. She’s in better shape than any woman I’ve ever gone with. She teases me about my lack of musculature and says, “It’s a good thing you’re so funny, or I’d dump you for someone younger!”

But then, the other morning, in a more serious moment, she asked me how long I thought this relationship could last. I said, half-joking: “Forever, if you want it!” Then she said, happily, “Get back to me on that. I could do with a new diamond!”

So, what have I done here? What does she mean? I don’t think she was 100 per cent kidding. I don’t want to take this great relationship into troubled waters, but I was not really thinking about diamonds and marriage, when we’re 16 years apart. Or, is that so crazy? I’m crazy about her. I guess you could say we’re both middle-aged.

— Diamonds Are Forever? downtown Winnipeg

Dear Diamonds: Big differences in age can be a problem for many lovers, but sometimes they can be a blessing. It’s interesting you flipped out the word “forever” so quickly. Explore this a little further with your mate. Her super fitness and your lack of it might even up your life expectancies, and everything could work out for quite some time.

Also, as the younger love partner, do you already have all the “children” you want, from a previous relationship? If there’s nothing major you’d be missing out on, you might want to just go for it with this wonderful lady.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-boyfriend can never keep a job, but he is a wonderful lover and I call upon him in times of need. I recently found out I’m not the only old girlfriend he sees when they’re lonely, as he has a couple of former loves he “visits from time to time.”

Whoa! I’m not sure how I feel about this. When I thought I was the only one he visited, I kind of liked the idea, but now that I’m suspecting I may be one of a number of “service” ladies, I feel upset. I used to think I was the only girlfriend whose loving he could never forget — because that’s what he always told me.

Last night when he was here, he once again said he was low on money. I asked him if he wanted a loan and he pulled out what sounded like a line, from the last time: “Forty dollars would help me a lot.” I gave him $40 as he was getting dressed. Then I felt weird.

Maybe I’m being too suspicious, but do you think he’s got a little business going on? What is the danger I’m actually seeing a guy with multiple customers, and I don’t even know how many? I’ve noticed he’s in no hurry to look for a job, and he continues to have a really nice apartment and a hot car.

— Worried Now, West End

Dear Worried: When in doubt, get out! You really need to ask this fellow flat out if you suspect he’s having sex for money, and has a string of customers. The last thing you want is to look back and say, “I had a pretty good idea he might be ‘working’ the night I picked up this STI.” No matter what he says, consider backing off now for safety’s sake, and get checked by your doctor.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography