Dreams underscore fact it’s happy trails for you

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/05/2023 (1192 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I fell deeply in love with a guy in Alberta who’s a cowboy, and I moved out there.

Sad to say, I cheated on him when he was away so much at competitions and leaving me lonely, not knowing anyone. He came home early from a trip and caught me with a guy who meant nothing to me, I swear. He was just company for a night and someone to hold me.

The next day my cowboy brought home an airline ticket for me and said, “Pack!” I had no choice, so I had to come back home to Manitoba. I haven’t gotten over him. Lately, I’ve been dreaming about him every night. I still love him so much!

I dream we’re back together riding along and everything is wonderful again. But in my dreams, he keeps falling off his horse, and getting badly hurt, and he can’t walk again. What do my dreams mean?

— Missing My Cowboy, southern Manitoba

Dear Missing My Cowboy: The part of the dream where he keeps falling and can’t walk again is probably symbolic. It means he can’t get past the pain you caused and he’ll never be able to get back with you again. His love was totally broken and he was hurt to the point where nothing you can do or say will heal that, as he’d never trust you.

You have no excuses. You’ll have to accept the relationship is broken for good. Your subconscious already knows that and keeps giving you the verdict in your dreams.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a flirty girl. I don’t mind, as long as she comes home with me at the end of the party. She used to get all turned on at parties we’d go to by dancing with other guys. Then we’d go home at 2 a.m. and use the party excitement for fuel to make love until the sun came up. But now, something has changed.

Now, she’s not interested in me being her ultimate go-to lover. She just says, “Good night, I’m too tired!” and goes to sleep. I found out this week she has a stash of sedatives again; that’s why she’s so tired all the time. I put the bottle in front of her at breakfast and she almost inhaled her toast. “You’re caught!” I said, “Where did you get these? There’s no prescription label on the bottle.”

She went quiet and then just said, “I got them from a friend.”

“Must have been Dr. Feelgood again,” I said and slammed out the door. I almost didn’t marry her because, in the very beginning, she was on drugs and had a supplier, but then she cleaned up for me! I love her when she’s awake and full of energy, not having anything at parties but maybe a beer. Now what do I do?

— Her Disappointed Husband, West Kildonan

Dear Disappointed: It’s time for a “reset” for both of you. You need to talk over a few things — the pre-wedding drug problem, the “happy days” period and the return to her pills. What has precipitated the need for sedatives? Is it your relationship? Her work or yours? Loneliness? Panicky feelings?

Don’t tell her she’s “weak” and needs to shape up. Instead, support her by finding good, professional help and volunteering to accompany her to sessions, if she wants you to.

Be her best friend and partner, not her parent.

“I want you to be happy and I want to help you” is the best attitude you can take. It may stop her from feeling she has to hide things from you, and that’s how the two of you can work on fixing this situation.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing with respect to “Gathering Storm.” (That’s the woman whose former best friend is sending “get-well” dinners to a new buddy. —Miss L.)

Another idea to consider? The writer may be the type of capable person who always helps others — and her friend didn’t even consider that she might need help. Before she writes off the friendship, why not call and ask for some help and see what happens?

— Another Small-Town Gal, Gimli

Dear Small-Town Gal: Yes, there’s an off-chance she might end up getting her old friend back and a become a little closer. There’s also a chance she’ll get a rejection now this person has drifted off. Either way she’ll know the score, and that’s better than stewing.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography