Sweatier summers may call for fresh approach

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I come from a hot country where we showered a lot — we don’t like being sweaty. We’ll sometimes hit the shower three times on a hot day. We usually have a quick shower every morning, another after work, and a final one when getting ready for bed. We’ll even have a fourth after sex.

It’s only takes a minute or two each time. We don’t end up using much more water than our longtime Canadian friends who tell us they only shower once a day or bathe twice a week, but they seem do it for a much longer duration.

One Canadian guy told me he only showers on Saturday nights before he goes out with friends. Tell me he’s joking. How can people stand their own smell if they don’t bathe or shower every day? What do you think?

— Clean and Cool, Fort Richmond

Dear Clean and Cool: With the way our summers are becoming hotter and more humid than ever, showering or bathing only a time or two per week just doesn’t pass the sniff test anymore.

Granted, some people bathe and shower less in the winter — and use more deodorant — but bathing and showering too little can fail miserably in the summer when deodorant just mixes in with one’s abundant perspiration.

Although humans don’t openly sniff each other like animals do, our brains silently take note of other people’s scents and help us decide how close we want to get to them.

People need to be sensitive to what their romantic partners enjoy or just can’t stand. A fun date in a new relationship can be a visit to a shop offering various naturally scented soaps and body washes to see what they both might like in common.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend and I ran into the woman who bought my house recently, and she said she had something in her car for me. She came back with a box of love letters from my ex that I had thought were lost forever.

When my new boyfriend took me home, he asked why I still had the letters and if I was ever going to share them with him. I said, “No way. These are from a different time in my life. They’re not for your eyes.”

He got so huffy. Did I do something wrong?

— Feeling Awkward, Downtown

Dear Awkward: In this modern world, you are entitled to have other relationships before you settle down. That past information can be kept quiet, stored away, thrown out or even shared with a new partner — if both of you can stand it. You can bet most new partners would prefer that info to be filed under “too much information” and maybe just trashed. Still, it’s your decision.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My partner and I are finally living together in a house with a pool.

We have just moved in and want to celebrate by inviting friends over, but we can’t afford to feed the whole crowd barbecued steaks at today’s prices. How can we work this so we don’t look like cheapskates?

We have two young children, so I also want to do this as a family thing, and don’t really want the adults to see it as a boozy party. Please advise.

— Pool Newbies, Winnipeg

Dear Pool Newbies: Since you are not high rollers, your friends probably won’t be expecting an exorbitant pool party, but it’s highly likely they’ll be wanting a chance to cool off in your new oasis in this steamy weather.

So host an afternoon pool party — say 2 to 5 p.m. — and highlight the fact it’s to be a fun time for friends and their kids with more of a family feel.

Most wouldn’t be expecting steaks at that hour, so announce your plan and grill up hot dogs and burgers with lots of condiments for everybody. For dessert, serve some ice cream and frozen treats on sticks.

Summer parties in the heat should be relaxing for everyone, including the hosts who have to deal with the stress of working within a budget.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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