Try to heal, move on from cheating hubby

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband had developed a suspicious pattern of being missing in action during work hours — and finally I figured it out. He had another woman.

Read this article for free:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband had developed a suspicious pattern of being missing in action during work hours — and finally I figured it out. He had another woman.

I insisted on counselling and he reluctantly went, “for the kids’ sake,” he said. The counselling seemed to have worked, especially when the other woman transferred to Ontario. Little did I realize, however, she would still be flying back here regularly to keep up her sales in Manitoba, and my husband would continue seeing her.

There is no love left between him and me now.

Worse than the cheating, he’s not an attentive father to his children, when he even bothers to hang out with them. Frankly, it was me who always wanted to have a family, and my husband just wanted to have a lot of sex. Now he’s out a lot after work, no doubt getting what he needs.

It looks like I may have to go back to work at my old full-time job (they’ve always been trying to get me back), and we’ll have to sell our house as we get divorced.

Do you have any ideas for me at this point? My head is spinning and I’m crying a lot, which is not good for me, and certainly not for the kids.

— Desperate Mom of Two, Sage Creek

Dear Desperate: First, talk to your doctor about steadying your mood so you can get through this hard time, and ask for a referral to reputable relationship counsellor.

Then see your past employer, who loved your work. Try to get your old job back or something else they might suggest. Line up a good babysitter, and start building a foundation for your little family.

Also, make sure to secure a reputable divorce lawyer and formulate a plan to help set you and the kids up financially with a generous monthly amount from your ex.

Part of your problem may be you have not fully let go of a marriage dream — even though it went kaput. You need to replace it with a new goal of being a happy and successful single mom and not chasing after this ex-husband who has disrespected you and the kids.

It’s imperative you change your taste in a mate before you start dating seriously again. You need a guy who shares a family dream with you and loves your kids, and is not just a lover and playmate. Personal counselling would help you a lot and might be available through coverage at your job.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a menagerie of pets and lives in a little house on the edge of some farmland on the outskirts of the city. I still don’t know which I like best — my new mate or her lovable animals, though I’m not crazy about living in the boonies, like she does.

I mentioned this to her last night and she told me to hit the brakes. She said, “I just met you and I don’t know how well I like your lifestyle either, if you can even call living in a rental house an actual lifestyle.”

Whoa. Did I blow this relationship myself? Is she turned off by me? Are we really a mismatch? It’s the best sex I ever had, but does that even matter?

— Mr. Big Mouth, Fort Rouge

Dear Big Mouth: If you meet someone who is happy with their lifestyle and it doesn’t meld with yours, then dating and playing with each other might be the most you’re going to do before saying a quick “adios.” And, that’s OK. Breakups always hurt to some degree. The mistake people make is hanging around way too long after realizing they’ll never be a lasting pair.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Column: Russia skates again in fight against Olympic doping

Paul Newberry, The Associated Press 6 minute read Preview

Column: Russia skates again in fight against Olympic doping

Paul Newberry, The Associated Press 6 minute read Monday, Feb. 14, 2022

Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron stayed for another four years after being edged out by Canada’s Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir at 2018 Games.

Read
Monday, Feb. 14, 2022

U of M students add malt barley roots to chocolate for nutritious treat

Tiago Resko 4 minute read Preview

U of M students add malt barley roots to chocolate for nutritious treat

Tiago Resko 4 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

The brewing industry isn’t known for being health conscious but, for a team of University of Manitoba students, it was the key to creating a chocolate bar that combines nutrition and indulgence.

Rooties is a proposed product by food sciences students at U of M that upcycles leftover malt barley roots used to brew beer. The malt increases the chocolate bar’s protein and fibre content, making it a more nutritious option for consumers, said Sherwin Santiano, one of four team members who worked on the product.

“It has a chewy sweet layer, and it has malt barley rootlets infused into the chocolate, similar to a Mars Bar,” he said.

Rooties is a finalist in an international food development competition run by Mars Snacking in partnership with the Institute of Food and Technologies Student Association. The annual event, called IFT First, selects groups of students from around the world to develop a product and present it to a panel of judges in Chicago.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

Councillors to vote on new parking plan that includes surge pricing

Nicole Buffie 3 minute read Preview

Councillors to vote on new parking plan that includes surge pricing

Nicole Buffie 3 minute read Friday, Oct. 31, 2025

The City of Winnipeg has unveiled a five-year parking strategy that includes more spaces and “surge pricing” during busy times and special events.

If the plan is adopted, the $270,000 strategy would pilot electric vehicle-charging stations downtown, develop an app for all parking needs and update accessibility signs for drivers with disabilities.

The strategy aims to manage the parking stock amid increased curb use.

“With the federal government providing funding for housing and transit, the city is densifying and we need our parking policies to better reflect that,” said Coun. Janice Lukes, who is chairwoman of the public works committee, which will vote on it Nov. 6. It requires final approval from council.

Read
Friday, Oct. 31, 2025

Cruise control: city mulls move to curb street noise levels

Ben Waldman 4 minute read Preview

Cruise control: city mulls move to curb street noise levels

Ben Waldman 4 minute read Friday, Jan. 17, 2020

Sunday cruise nights on Portage Avenue are a Winnipeg tradition, but cavalcades of convertibles and muscle cars rolling down the street can come with a noisy byproduct.

Next week, the city's executive policy committee will discuss some changes — including noise cameras that capture licence plate data of particularly loud vehicles — aimed at keeping the volume down.

The recommendation, which would require provincial approval, comes on the heels of complaints from area residents about the Sunday night noise levels, says Coun. Cindy Gilroy (Daniel McIntyre).

"Most residents don't mind the cruise nights themselves," she said Thursday. "It's the revving and the screeching" and the modified mufflers.

Read
Friday, Jan. 17, 2020

Report calls for schools to add more ‘sensory rooms’

Maggie Macintosh 5 minute read Preview

Report calls for schools to add more ‘sensory rooms’

Maggie Macintosh 5 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

Manitoba schools are being urged to set up more “sensory rooms” and use the spaces — which can feature mood lighting, flexible seating and fidget toys — to address growing concerns about student outbursts and related injuries.

A new report from the Manitoba Federation of Labour is renewing calls to better protect educational assistants, teachers and other public-sector employees.

One of its 10 recommendations, published on Monday, focuses on tackling overcrowding in community facilities and establishing “safe spaces in schools to respond to violence.”

“It’s become the norm: kids having meltdowns that require you have to evacuate the classroom,” said Jane Allison, an educational assistant in Winnipeg.

Read
2:00 AM CDT

ATV deaths, injuries are call for action

Editorial 3 minute read Preview

ATV deaths, injuries are call for action

Editorial 3 minute read 2:00 AM CDT

The numbers are alarming, and the calls to address them are neither unexpected nor unreasonable. But reducing the rate of injuries and deaths related to the use of all-terrain vehicles will not be easily accomplished.

The death last week of a 59-year-old woman in South Indian Lake, about 770 kilometres north of Winnipeg, was the fifth ATV-related fatality in Manitoba this year — a particularly disturbing statistic in light of the fact 2025 was the deadliest year in more than a decade for ATV riders in this province.

Eleven people lost their lives in ATV accidents last year, according to recently released data, and 227 required hospital care for injuries sustained while operating off-road vehicles. There have been 68 ATV-related deaths in this province since 2017.

All of which has prompted questions about whether it’s time for Manitoba to follow the lead of other provinces that have made ATV safety training mandatory for users of off-road vehicles.

Read
2:00 AM CDT