Don’t keep predilection for pups under wraps

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m single and new to Winnipeg, and just bought a great house near a park. I also have a new puppy who keeps me happy.

I love dogs and will always have one or more, but I would like to get back into the dating game again. How soon is too soon to broach the subject of my need for canine companionship with someone I may start dating?

— Unsure of the Waters, Fort Rouge

Dear Unsure: Don’t trust that a new person is going to instantly love dogs just because you do.

So, bring up your pup-owning preference casually in one of your first conversations to test the waters.

If your date is negative about your dog situation, it’s probably best to move on and not bother trying to get them on board with the idea of a pooch always present.

You simply won’t enjoy being with a partner who is standoffish to your fur baby and you would never know how that person would treat your pet when you’re not there.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is currently very big and pregnant carrying twins — not her fault, as my family’s genetics are definitely responsible.

We desperately needed a new and bigger bed so both of us could get more restful sleep, so I went out and bought a king-size bed and had it installed in the guest bedroom for us, while she was out at the doctor’s.

She came home, and I’d already made up the bed with nice pillows and yelled “Surprise!” She looked at the new bed for a long moment, and to my surprise went into our bedroom to the smaller bed and cried.

She wrongly assumed our old bed was for me now, and the giant new one was for fat, pregnant her. She won’t accept that’s in no way what I was implying with the purchase.

I have no desire to sleep in a different room than her, nor do I think she’s fat. She’s just carrying our kids.

I love her to the moon and back, but I must admit I haven’t felt overly sexual for a while, especially with the often uncomfortable state she’s in. What can I do?

— Sad Couple , East Kildonan

Dear Sad Couple: You can get close again. Just hang in there and follow these directions: Jump into the other side of whichever bed your wife happens to be sleeping on, and don’t criticize her choice.

Offer to bring her some drinks and snacks if she wants, and look like you’re planning to stay, no matter what she says.

If she’s not feeling very talkative, find something funny to watch on TV with her. Hang in there, be patient and tell her frequently that you love her.

She may think you’re a little crazy and tell you so, but just shut down any tension in a fun and loving way, with something along the lines of, “You make me this way — you’re pregnant, and I love you.”

If sex isn’t going to be part of things right now, offer her soothing back, arm and leg massages with some nice body lotions.

Good luck on your new adventure.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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