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DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: What can I do with my fantastic woman on Valentine’s Day? We’re new to each other and very attracted — but it’s not quite time for sex yet. This woman is very special and I really need to get this right. What do you suggest?

— Crazy About New Mate, St. James

Dear Crazy: Here are couple suggestions that could go down well for you on this most-romantic of nights.

First off, the star-studded heavens. Binoculars and sky-gazing could get you away from the bright city lights. You’ll just need a map of the sky and its attractions, which you can track down online.

A romantic movie at a theatre side-by-side in swanky reclining seats could make for old-fashioned fun in a new-fangled way, as long as you’re comfortable with one another in that proximity at this point.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I asked my wife, who gave birth to our first child recently, what she would like for Valentine’s Day and she said “A bath by myself without the baby crying.”

Please advise me how to set this up for her. I am such a dope when it comes to women and babies.

— New Daddy, North Kildonan

Dear New Daddy: You’ll need to be flexible when it comes to the timing of this fancy, relaxing bath. It may be possible on Valentine’s Day, but if your newborn is fussy, it may have to be postponed for a few days. You never know when tiny babies may really need their mama.

It might help to have a family babysitter over to keep the baby happy. If this won’t work, assure your wife there’s no expiration date for this much-needed soak, and that it can wait until she’s ready.

However, if you really want to make a difference, don’t restrict facilitating this kind of relaxing break for your wife to special occasions — how about once a week to really show your love for her?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My buddies and I are sports guys who are noticing a lack of social action this winter. A lot of us are single, or about to be that way, and afraid of not having a romantic partner. We’re all busy finishing university or starting our careers, and at a bit of a loss on how to find new girlfriends. Please help.

— Go-Getter Guys, Fort Garry

Dear Go-Getters: The trick to changing your social lives is to stir things up. Consider organizing early spring activities like a mixed baseball or bowling team, or a diverse group for golf or tennis. It’s not just about playing, but socially interacting with all the people who join and start having fun with you. And being the organizers could pay big dividends in terms of your popularity.

Of course, getting the word out and signing people up for teams or groups, could be the best “jobs” to have, because you’ll meet everyone who gets involved or is even just considering it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in love for the first time, and right in time for Valentine’s Day, which is a big deal to me. I knew I’d found my bride when I met this new woman, but I declared my love feelings a little too soon. I would marry her tomorrow if she wanted it. Why was I so hasty? I thought I would never find love because of my excess weight, although I’m a funny guy and have a great job.

She ran away from me for a while because I was chasing her. But I went and got help from a professional relationship counsellor, which helped me back off until she missed me and called me herself. We’re back together now, but I still can’t nail her down to a marriage date. I want to make her mine as soon as possible.

— First Real Love at 34, Selkirk

Dear First Love: Why are you still in such a hurry? What makes you think a ring and nailing her down to a wedding date guarantees anything?

Even if you marry her, you don’t own her, and that’s what you have to understand. Your best move? The one you’ve already seen work for you — give her enough space to want you to come closer and really build something without a strict schedule.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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