Seek counsel to unpack mate’s wardrobe revelation

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got the shock of my life this week. I came home early from a meeting because I was feeling tired and caught my husband in our bedroom wearing my new blue summer dress and a blond wig.

He yanked off the wig and dress, and yelled, “What are you doing home?”

I said, “What are you doing in my dress?”

I realize this might be entertaining if it was a movie, but it’s my real life.

Then I just broke down and cried. “What now?” I asked. He said that nothing has changed — he only loves women, and me in particular. But for me, everything has changed. I’m drowning in confusion. Help me, please.

— Shocked, North End

Dear Shocked: You two need to get some specific help from a counsellor about this revelation.

Also, if your husband already knows other couples where one or both partners cross-dress, they may be able to offer advice and help you get your mind around what’s happening.

When you speak to others in a relationship that embraces cross-dressing, you’ll find out if you’re able to accept this sort of practice and carry on.

The irony, you realize, is that contemporary women can wear “men’s” clothes all they want now, and it is no big deal.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My money is a big issue with my girlfriend. I was left a bundle when my grandfather died recently — seven figures. I was stupid enough to be open with her about how much I received.

It was a lot for a young guy in his late 20s, so I went and found some good investment advice. I’m kind of set for life now.

But now my girlfriend is acting different towards me — like she can’t do enough for me and is demonstrating she’s real wife material. Before that, she was a lot of fun and loved to party. That’s all I want from any woman at this point in my life.

Finally, I told her she had to stop fussing around me like she was my wife. “Why don’t you just tell me straight out you’re in love with my inheritance?” I said.

She looked at me like I had slapped her. She got my message and I could see it really hurt her. Then she searched my face for a moment and ran out the door.

I feel like a jerk, but I never once considered her as my future life partner, and I have no tact.

How do I tell her and other women who might hear about my money that I’m not hunting for a serious woman?

I just want to relax and have fun because I plan to leave town to do my master’s degree in a different city, or perhaps even overseas — and I won’t be taking anyone with me when I go.

I sound detached saying this, even to myself. What do you think?

— Mean Guy? Downtown Winnipeg

Dear Mean Guy? Like too many people who inherit big money, you didn’t know how to handle everything. While consulting a trusted investment adviser was a great move, detachment from others socially and relationship-wise is definitely not what you need at this point. It has made many a wealthy person feel poor and lonely.

Definitely invest some of your dough in personal counselling right now before you take off for a new university.

The goal is to get yourself ready to begin your social and emotional life over again with a better attitude. Let your heart soften.

Consider getting involved with charity work now, and in your new city later, as a way to meet some good-hearted people.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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