Don’t make hasty assumptions about neighbour

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This article was published 05/03/2025 (534 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I live in an apartment near the main-floor doors right underneath a young man on the second floor. He’s a suspiciously good-looking and busy guy. Women are always coming and going, and being buzzed in.

I can see them — sometimes two or three in one day. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were paying customers, as they arrive and leave in expensive-looking vehicles.

Then, at exactly 5 p.m. every day, this guy leaves and takes a cab somewhere. I’d like to know if he’s going to a legitimate job or he’s doing outcalls, like maybe running a paying evening business.

— Suspicious, Osborne Village

Dear Suspicious: You have decided on your own this guy may be a male prostitute — but you could be totally wrong.

How do you think he feels seeing your curtains moving or your head looking out from the window as he waits outside for his cab? You may be giving him the creeps.

Consider this possible scenario: what if he has a few girlfriends and a serious night job? He may even be an overnight worker or a medical professional, working shifts.

Sure, he may have a few hot girlfriends or female buddies who visit in the daytime if he doesn’t own a car. Plus, it may be — since he leaves the apartment block at 5 p.m. — that he has a legitimate full-time job somewhere. If he works in certain parts of the city it may be safer to take cabs than to park a car at night.

So get off your neighbour’s case and try to be pleasant when you run into him. Try talking to him respectfully, stop your spying and hopefully you can be casual friends.

You know very well you will find him more interesting than any other tenant in your block.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hate snow and ice, and I don’t know why I live in freezing Manitoba. I have a deal where I can work from home if I want to, so I hardly go into the office, but I may have gone a little too far.

The other day my boss called me and asked how I liked my job because he never sees me any more. He wanted to know if there was a problem with my co-workers or with him.

I was shocked. I told him I loved my job and it suited me perfectly, but I just hate the snow and cold.

He said he wondered how people like him and my co-workers who go into the office are supposed to know that considering they haven’t seen me all winter.

I asked calmly and carefully if he liked the quality of my work, and he said, “Yes, it’s excellent, but you’re like a ghost around here. You’re never here when we have important discussions. Sometimes we need to make decisions that are good for the whole group.”

He told me to think about it. I started to protest, but he said that we need more communication and he wanted me to start coming back into the office starting next week.

On thinking more about it, I’m definitely OK with going back into the office this spring, but does that mean I’ll soon be back in there five days a week all year? I was scared to ask him that question.

— Love My Job, Not the Weather, Winnipeg

Dear Love My Job: You were wise not to ask that question. Although your boss wouldn’t have fired you on the spot, it might have seemed nervy and rude from you at that point.

Also, it may have ended his interest in ever promoting you. You not being there already indicates you would never be involved enough in the company.

Start scouting around for a similar job that actually encourages working at home because you love the situation and flourish in it.

Some companies don’t care if they ever see your mug at the workplace as long as you’re doing excellent work for them.

That’s especially true if they’re expanding and don’t have enough room in-house for new people. It might be time for you to move on.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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