Best not to insert yourself into dwelling drama

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This article was published 03/10/2024 (730 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My apartment looks out at another block and the people who barbecue and party on their balconies. It’s been a fun attraction all summer — like watching a TV series. I call it “Balcony World” and have nicknamed some of the most interesting characters.

As summer progressed I also wanted to actually meet some of those people — I feel like I almost know them. However, I do worry it wouldn’t be cool to let on I’ve watched them so closely. I’ve seen a lot happening this spring and summer. I’ve even seen some people on certain balconies that make me wonder if they’re not supposed to be with each other.

What do you think?

— Dying to Meet Cast, south Winnipeg

Dear Dying to Meet: You’ve had a front-row seat and naturally want to meet the stars — but they’re not actors.

Unlike TV shows and characters you become fond of, these people might be embarrassed to know you got kicks out of watching their real lives.

It’s probably best to invest more time in your own real-life friendships, now that this “season” has come to an end and the “Balcony World” characters will be on hiatus. Just let them be.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I feel like I just saw a ghost. After years apart I ran into my ex-wife.

She was obviously unhappy with me shortly after we got married and gained 60 pounds of weight in the first year.

She never really wanted sex with me, whether slim or heavier. I was miserable, and very frustrated. I treated her so well, but she just baked and ate every night.

We ended the relationship because something terrible was wrong and she couldn’t express it in words.

She moved to another province and that was the end of that. We got divorced very quickly — at her request.

We have a mutual friend who was a pipeline to me from there, and to my shock and amazement, it wasn’t long before my ex-wife found a romantic partner in her new world — a woman.

Then she came back to Manitoba this summer with her new partner. It was someone she had known in Manitoba before she ever met me, but had felt it was wrong to be with her. My ex looked very happy.

I was actually relieved. It turned out it wasn’t me she didn’t care for, it was about her sexual preference. Oddly, it turns out her lady is much like me — we have many of the same interests and similar personality. My ex has asked me to keep in touch, but should I?

— Enlightened Ex, rural Manitoba

Dear Enlightened: Your ex-wife may have told you to keep in touch just to be polite. There’s no need to be close and friendly now that you’re exes who live peacefully in two provinces. Just wish each other a good life in your thoughts and speak well of one another when somebody inquires. That’s the classy way to handle it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I just joined a co-ed gym and paid a lot of money. Much to my surprise, my recent ex-boyfriend has just joined the same gym. Do you think I should tell him to go to a different branch or to give me a schedule of when he’s going to be at this one?

— So Annoyed, Winnipeg

Dear Annoyed: Who are you mad at? You can’t blame the gym for welcoming new business, and you can’t blame your ex for wanting to work out, especially now he’s single. But if you pay attention, you can probably figure out when he’s usually there and avoid those times — until you find a new love interest.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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