Say happy trails, immerse self in new community

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This article was published 04/10/2024 (756 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m struggling to get past the worst summer of my life and desperately need help.

I should have known something was up when my friend was finding excuses to come out to our farm all the time — and then asking my guy to teach her how to ride horseback.

This is how stupid I was: one time she came back with grass on her back and I actually brushed it off and asked her sympathetically if she’d fallen off her horse.

How trusting and dumb could I be? I should have known when I would see them go riding off together that something was going on, but I didn’t want to think the worst of either of them.

Then, in August, I got a distressing phone call from my older sister in the city who had heard via the rumour mill what was going on and felt she had to warn me. I screamed at her that she was wrong and told her she was just jealous of my marriage because she couldn’t get a guy herself.

What a fool I was. My husband was cheating on me all right, and a lot of people were angry at both him and my now ex-friend.

When the end of summer came, she moved to Winnipeg with not a care in the world. I’m still living and working in our town.

It pains me to see my husband now. I’m a nurse and have considered moving to the city, but I’m not a city girl in my bones. As for my husband, I will never go back to him even if he begs, which he certainly won’t. What’s my best move now?

— Single and Lonely, rural Manitoba

Dear Single and Lonely: Since your husband is likely to stay on his farm and nurses are in demand everywhere, look for a nursing job in a bigger town with a decent-sized hospital. Then try moving there and re-establishing yourself.

To meet new friends, you’ll need to get over-involved with the community’s leisure activities for a time. That means joining groups, whether in the arts or sporting pursuits, and volunteering for events or causes.

You’ll be super busy but you won’t be lonely for long, as active people in towns tend to welcome new faces.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I just lost our dog. I’m surviving, but my husband is really suffering.

He walked our dog three times a day and the little guy sat up top on the back of my husband’s chair the rest of the time. Plus, he slept close beside him. My man loved that dog like his own baby.

He doesn’t understand he needs to get another dog to help close the wound, but I know he does.

I’m more than willing to get another one myself. We’re retired and don’t want to go away in the winter to some God-forsaken tourist trap.

Still, my husband says he just can’t imagine replacing his dog and then dying of old age himself and leaving a doggie without his best friend. As if I don’t count.

— Wanting to Help, Fort Garry

Dear Wanting: Consider contacting an organization such as Before the Bridge Senior K-9 Rescue (beforethebridge.ca), where they rehouse older dogs to live out their lives in the love and care of new owners.

If an owner dies before they do, the dog is taken back by Before the Bridge, and united with another dog-loving person.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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