Really no need to panic and pull up stakes

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/08/2024 (790 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: it’s like shooting dice when it comes to booking campsites. I looked out our tent window yesterday morning because I thought I heard familiar voices — and guess who it was? My loud and rude ex in-laws, who sound like a flock of honking geese when they get together.

I quickly dialled the people who run the campground, but there was nowhere for us to move. We kind of snuck around until I heard my ex-mother-in-law say, “Oh my God — look who’s next door. It’s her.” And then she started talking quietly, so we couldn’t hear them.

My new boyfriend wanted me to let him go over and charm them. Ha! I wouldn’t let it happen. In the end, we tiptoed around for one more day, and went home early. What should we have done?

— Extremely Awkward Tenting, Grand Beach

Dear Awkward: Why waste a weekend like that before you even know it’s going to be bad?

You could have taken a deep breath and walked over to the ex-relatives’ campsite and said, “It’s me. No hard feelings against you guys. I hope you’re doing well and all are set to have fun. By the way, this is my new friend. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.”

Then, it would be time to push off quickly and start enjoying your little holiday together.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a divorced teacher in my 30s up at the lake with my boys, and I’ve been falling for the gorgeous man who is renting the cabin next door to us. Our cabins are side-by-side and our relationship has grown every week. He’s out here working remotely for his business until the end of September. I have to go home in a few weeks to prep for school.

My emotions feel out of control in this romantic atmosphere. I don’t think he cares nearly as much as I do. Now what?

— Tangled Mess, on Lake Manitoba

Dear Tangled Mess: Be a strong mama. Don’t let the kids see you suffering, and whatever you do, don’t throw them in the car and take everybody home early.

You will know better how you feel when romantic cabin life is finished for the season.

Meanwhile, try to give your kids as much of the good lake life as you can before packing up.

Don’t ask this man for a read-out on the budding relationship until after you’ve gone home, as it could spoil the holiday if he doesn’t say exactly what you hope.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: As a 40-year-old woman, I was touched to read about the younger man who wrote in about his love for older women. Not that 40 is all that old. I do agree with you that maturity is much more important than age. I will add, from my own experience of dating men at least five years older, that I absolutely used to have some daddy issues.

As I worked on healing, I’ve naturally started dating men closer to my age and I love it. There’s something very fun about having shared generational experiences, relating to the same pop-culture moments and being closer in both your life stages. There are plenty of “old souls” out there this man can connect with.

— Old Gal, New Tricks, Winnipeg

Dear Old Gal: Old souls — people who are mature for their age — are easier to find now than they’ve ever been. There are a lot of surprisingly mature young people coming up.

Many teens are babysitting younger siblings while their parents are at work, taking on parental responsibility at a young age. Then there’s the fitness craze, which has lasted for several decades, and most people simply look and feel younger than they used to.

As for big age differences in dating — nobody sneezes at a five-year difference in adult couples now and it doesn’t matter so much which person is the oldest. People who get past their late teens and have matured early are not looking at an age number so much as for proof of real maturity. And that’s a good thing.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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