Put mother-in-law’s snooping into perspective

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This article was published 03/06/2024 (794 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother-in-law, who babysits on Saturday nights, owns a tiny, black notebook I found on the floor. The front has important phone numbers and the rest is weekly reports on my wife and me.

This week, she must have accidentally dropped it under the kitchen table. I picked it up and was amazed. They were notes on us, like “Dirty fridge. Hydro bill late again. Whisky bottles behind deep freeze.”

I told my wife her mother is spying on us, and showed her the evidence. She laughed until the tears rolled down her cheeks, but I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t want her back here babysitting. My wife just said that her mom is an old busybody who is so hysterical that she should get her own TV show.

Now what? I don’t want that old busybody back here on Saturdays going through private things in our house. I want to have a serious talk with her and set her straight about losing the job. My wife disagrees and says over her dead body, especially since our kids love their grandmother. Now what?

— On the Warpath, St. Vital

Dear On the Warpath: Whoa. There’s no need to fire grandma. You can hang onto your children’s beloved babysitter without a battle. First, gently tease gran about being outed as the Inspector of Housekeeping, and mention her notebook you now have in your hands. Tell her you’re thinking of suggesting her to star in a TV show about it. Hopefully, she’ll take that as a joke.

As for your bills, tax returns and other financial papers — put everything in a locked metal box, but don’t stow it in your master bedroom. Burglars say the first place they look for valuables such as jewelry, credit cards and a stash of cash is five feet from the homeowner’s bed.

As for the liquor bottles, use the top shelf of a locked cabinet — one that’s too big to carry out the door.

Then you, your wife and grandma need to get off each other’s backs because you need each other. You need the privacy of your weekly dates and grandma needs to see the grandchildren she loves. It’s time to start appreciating the good things you three bring to each other. Grandma won’t be on this Earth forever.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My sexy new dating interest says he’s too emotionally damaged to love again so soon after his last relationship. He told me the only thing he can allow right now is just fooling around and having fun.

This guy is gorgeous and my body is saying, “Just give him a chance, and then wait it out for a relationship to develop.” Is that a workable idea or a mistake?”

—Aching for Contact, Fort Whyte

Dear Aching: When did the lower half of your body start getting to make the big choices in your life? Ask for a rain-check call from him when he’s on his feet again, emotionally. If he thinks about you and calls you inside a month, consider accepting the date.

But if he doesn’t call you for several months, he may have lost your contact info down the back seat and recently turned it up on the floor, saying “Look at this. She’s a long shot now, but what the heck?”

If he then calls, wish him well and tell him goodbye. If he asks why you’re turning him down, simply say, “I’m surprised you have to ask.”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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