Be open about discovering hubby’s little helper

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This article was published 06/07/2023 (1171 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband has been keeping a secret from me. We’re newly married — the second time for both of us. We’re always open with each other, or so I thought. But while I was doing our laundry, I found a bottle of little blue pills in his sock drawer. I knew immediately what these pills were for — Viagra for erection problems.

Now, something makes real sense. My husband has always been the Energizer Bunny in the bedroom, but I never knew he needed pills to be that way! I don’t want him to be keeping anything from me. Should I tell him what I found or not? He’s going to be so embarrassed.

— His New Loving Wife, Windsor Park

Dear Loving Wife: In the interest of openness and acceptance, you need to tell your husband you found the pills. They weren’t well hidden, so may be he wanted you to find them.

You might say, “Honey, I found this little bottle of blue pills, and I know what they’re for. You don’t have to hide anything from me. I’m always going to be on your side.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I don’t make a lot of money, and the other night he got drunk and brought home a big new TV. This impulsive purchase doesn’t put us into the negative, but it definitely makes life less easy for the next month or two.

I said flatly that it was a “totally inappropriate, dumbass move.”

He replied with the stupid grin of a drunk, saying, “Fine! Wanna be that way? No sex for two weeks for you!” and he went down to the basement to set up his new TV. Two can play that outdated old game. We’ll see who gives in first, and it won’t be me. Bottom line? I miss the man I thought I married, but not this imposter who drinks way more than I thought, and spends money like a teenager. He makes me sick!

I can’t afford to leave him as we have small house and share all expenses, and we live so close to the line. I feel helpless financially. By the way, he’s not a good lover, especially when he’s drinking, and what kind of father would he make?

— So Over Him! West End

Dear Furious: Since this is not the man you want for life, it’s time to think hard about being signed-up for the long haul. What happens if you have kids and need some time with a reduced income to stay home and get them started in life, but there isn’t a dime to spare?

No doubt he’s frustrated because you try to control the purse strings. If you were not married and sharing this house, would you not be breaking up? There’s a lot more to think about, aside from that fancy boob tube in your basement. It’s time to talk to a counsellor, possibly on your own, and also to see a lawyer, definitely on your own.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend has a strange diamond charm on her bracelet. It’s the diamond taken out of her ex-husband’s wedding ring, which she demanded he give back to her. She’d insisted on giving him that big diamond in a double-ring ceremony. He didn’t want any ring, and he didn’t wear it after wedding day.

So, why is she wearing that same diamond every day on this charm bracelet she never takes off? Is she still trying to get her ex-husband’s notice? I wonder if her feelings for me are real, or if I’m being used as another way to stick it to him? Please help!

— Mystery Diamond, River Heights

Dear Mystery: Your new lady was hurt and embarrassed by her ex-husband. She probably thought: “Why should he get to cash in that expensive wedding ring?” As for why it’s now a sparkler on her charm bracelet, maybe it’s not a wedding ring to her anymore. Still, it’s time you asked the question that’s really on your mind: “Are you secretly pining for your husband, and want word to get back to him that you haven’t forgotten about him?”

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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