WEATHER ALERT

Early relationship boldness may not bode well

Advertisement

Advertise with us

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend just “offered” to move into my place because it’s so far for me to drive to her place to pick her up and she doesn’t have a car. She does not have a job either, as she’s a full-time university student who gets rides there with classmates when I’m not dropping her off.

Read this article for free:

or

Already have an account? Log in here »

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Subscribe and receive a limited-edition Free Press branded hat or tote.

Digital Subscription

One year of digital access for only $205*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles

*First annual payment billed as $205.00 + GST for one year. This annual subscription will automatically renew at $233.00 + GST every 52 weeks (10% off the regular annual price of $259.35). Offer available to new and qualified returning subscribers only. Cancel any time.

To continue reading, please subscribe:

Add Free Press access to your Brandon Sun subscription for only an additional

$1 for the first 4 weeks*

  • Enjoy unlimited reading on winnipegfreepress.com
  • Read the E-Edition, our digital replica newspaper
  • Access News Break, our award-winning app
  • Play interactive puzzles
Start now

*Your next Brandon Sun subscription payment will increase by $1.00 and you will be charged $17.95 plus GST for four weeks. After four weeks, your payment will increase to $24.95 plus GST every four weeks.

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend just “offered” to move into my place because it’s so far for me to drive to her place to pick her up and she doesn’t have a car. She does not have a job either, as she’s a full-time university student who gets rides there with classmates when I’m not dropping her off.

I met her through a recreational curling league we’re both in. She is a great athlete and has a medical career ahead of her, but I don’t want to be her sugar daddy in the meantime, and I told her that last night on the phone.

So she called me in a snit today, angry about our chat where she didn’t automatically get her way. She told me to get lost, but not in such polite words. Then she hung up on me.

Have I blown this for good? She may be younger than I am, but she’s the best match I’ve ever had — bright, business-minded and into sports, and sexy in a way I like. It just feels too soon to have her living with me.

What do you think?

— Hasty move? Osborne Village

Dear Hasty: Essentially saying, “Either live with me immediately, or get lost” is a pretty pushy move on her part, so take a chance on this young woman changing her tune if you stick to something such as, “You’re great and we’re a good match, but it’s too soon to live together.”

If she dumps you on your head because she can’t get her way, just get up and walk away. Consider her move a serious warning from the love gods.

She may be smart, fun and attractive, but she’s someone used to getting her own way.

If you really want her, hold the line and see if you can buy more time to explore this relationship without her unreasonable demands being fulfilled.

If not, you can find another great woman who isn’t so self-centred, so don’t be afraid to write off this “me first, you don’t count” attitude.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I thought my new man was all that and more, but as soon as we got married last summer he started talking to me like he does to his mother.

When he was still living at home before we got married, he used to leave notes labelled “for mom” on the fridge before he went to bed — scribbled lists of what he needed done for him by the next day. And she would stay up to complete the tasks for him.

When I finally questioned his demands on his mom, he said, “She chose to be a stay-at-home mother, so I’m just giving her something valuable to do.”

I don’t know why I didn’t turn and run then, except our wedding was so close.

Now I’m the one getting those notes about shovelling the driveway, changing light bulbs, cleaning the garage, taking out garbage and changing the cat litter. It’s like he can’t do these chores because he’s too busy with his more important job and the two sports he’s involved in. I have a full-time job myself.

Last night he informed me he thought it was about time we had our first kid before we get too old. I’ve got news for him — I’m not sure anymore if I want to raise a child with him. I know who would be taking care of everything — me.

I’d probably also end up working part time from home to try to keep some semblance of my professional life, rather than feeling like a domestic servant.

I don’t even know what I want with this marriage anymore. Help, please.

— Pulling My Hair Out, St. Boniface

Dear Pulling Hair Out: A guy who is self-centred and expects service from family members — particularly the women close to him like his mom and now you, his wife — assumes he’ll continue being treated like a prince. You’ll need professional intervention to shift that notion or you may need to leave — and before you start a family with this man.

This would be the time to get some solo relationship counselling, and then the two of you should consider couples counselling. If your husband balks, tell him it’s crucial if he wants you to stay. That will surprise him, given his background, but it may wake him up if he knows you really mean it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber.

Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.

Report Error Submit a Tip

More Stories

Trump’s graceless own goal sabotaged World Cup’s spirit of fair play

Carrie Serwtnyk 7 minute read Preview

Trump’s graceless own goal sabotaged World Cup’s spirit of fair play

Carrie Serwtnyk 7 minute read Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

Like many Canadians, I have avoided crossing the U.S. border in the last couple of years. For me, it was a mixture of defiance and uncertainty. What if border guards ask me what I think about President Donald Trump? I would fail the lie detector test.

But the World Cup is going on, and I had a pass for the Seattle stadium. I needed to take advantage of it. After all, I love soccer and I love the World Cup. I see it as one of the great peace movements of our time.

But the irony of travelling to the U.S. for the World Cup wasn’t lost on me. Led by their FIFA Peace Prize-winning president, the country is dropping bombs on World Cup participant Iran. Referee Omar Artan was refused entry into the U.S., where he was to become the first Somali to referee at a World Cup. Fears of ICE raids sent shivers through international communities. Even players were harassed at border points.

It was fair to wonder: what would my experience be like?

Read
Yesterday at 2:01 AM CDT

Original Sorrento's restaurant still flinging pizzas, pastas after 45 years

David Sanderson / Photos by Mike Sudoma 10 minute read Preview

Original Sorrento's restaurant still flinging pizzas, pastas after 45 years

David Sanderson / Photos by Mike Sudoma 10 minute read Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2021

The original Sorrento's Italian restaurant is still flinging pizzas, pastas and parmigiana more than 45 years later.

Read
Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2021

Occupied Ukraine holds Kremlin-staged vote on joining Russia

Hanna Arhirova, The Associated Press 7 minute read Preview

Occupied Ukraine holds Kremlin-staged vote on joining Russia

Hanna Arhirova, The Associated Press 7 minute read Friday, Sep. 23, 2022

KYIV, Ukraine (AP) — A Kremlin-orchestrated referendum got underway Friday in occupied regions of Ukraine that sought to make them part of Russia, with some officials carrying ballots to apartment blocks accompanied by gun-toting police. Kyiv and the West condemned it as a rigged election whose result was preordained by Moscow.

Meanwhile, in a grim reminder of the brutality of the 7-month-old invasion, U.N. experts and Ukrainian officials pointed to new evidence of Russian war crimes. Kharkiv region officials said a mass burial site in the eastern city of Izium held hundreds of bodies, including at least 30 displaying signs of torture.

The referendums in the Luhansk, Kherson and partly Russian-occupied Zaporizhzhia and Donetsk regions were widely seen as a prelude to Moscow annexing the regions. The voting, which was overseen by authorities installed by Russia, is scheduled to run through Tuesday and is almost certain to go the Kremlin's way.

Authorities in the Kherson region said residents of a small Moscow-controlled area of the neighboring Mykolaiv province also will be able to vote, and that small area was “incorporated” into Kherson until all of Mykolaiv is taken over by Russian forces.

Read
Friday, Sep. 23, 2022

Former late-night host brings new series to Netflix

Brad Oswald  4 minute read Preview

Former late-night host brings new series to Netflix

Brad Oswald  4 minute read Saturday, Jan. 13, 2018

When he left, he said he was glad to be gone; that he had nothing left to say on late-night television.

Two-and-a-half years later, it’s clear David Letterman still has a few things on his mind. And that TV remains the forum in which he feels best suited to say them.

Letterman, 70, returns to the small screen — and, for that matter, any other device on which you consume streaming content — this week with the debut of the new Netflix series My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman. The six-part, 60-minute series finds the still-bearded, but business-suit-attired Dave sitting down for extended conversations with subjects whom the host thinks sufficiently interesting to be worthy of an extended chat.

It’s obvious now, as this new effort unfolds at a decidedly measured pace (a new instalment will be made available on Netflix each month), that it wasn’t television in general that Letterman had grown tired of, after 30-plus years behind a talk-show desk; rather, it was the formatted nature of his past endeavours, the repetition, the daily grind and the requirement, because of the cross-promotional nature of the genre, to suffer through the endless stream of conversations with showbiz types with not all that much to say beyond pre-packaged quips about a latest movie or TV show.

Read
Saturday, Jan. 13, 2018

Better friendships begin with a better you

Jen Zoratti 7 minute read Preview

Better friendships begin with a better you

Jen Zoratti 7 minute read Monday, Jan. 17, 2022

Our friendships are among the most important, formative, joyful and fulfilling relationships we can have as humans. As the saying goes, friends are the family we choose.

Still, despite how vital those social bonds are, there’s not much of a framework for when our friendships are emptying our proverbial cup instead of filling it. There’s all manner of advice — and formal therapy — for navigating romantic relationships, but what about our best friends forever?

How do you manage conflict — or even simple disagreements — constructively with your pals? How do you navigate (instead of avoid) difficult conversations? How do you make new friends outside of school or work, especially as an adult?

And how, if it comes down to it, do you break up with your friends?

Read
Monday, Jan. 17, 2022

Tax cuts may not add up to support for Stefanson

Dan Lett 6 minute read Preview

Tax cuts may not add up to support for Stefanson

Dan Lett 6 minute read Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2022

New budget. New premier. Same old fiscal madness.

Faced with a crisis in health care and plummeting support, Premier Heather Stefanson needed to deliver a budget that repaired the damage done by her predecessor Brian Pallister, while breathing new life into the Progressive Conservative brand.

Instead, Stefanson drew up a budget that Pallister would be proud of.

Despite all of the rhetoric in the budget documents about “rebuilding” and “restoring” the economy and government services, Stefanson’s 2022-23 budget plan remains stubbornly committed to starving core services in favour of lavish tax cuts.

Read
Tuesday, Apr. 12, 2022