Seek out worthy replacement for untenable crush

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/12/2025 (259 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m in love with a man who has a wife and children in another city. He was only here for a few weeks learning about the way our workplace functions. He is so brilliant and has a zany sense of humour.

We had a lot of fun together while he was here and I think I fell a little bit in lust with him. Now that he’s gone back to work at home, I’m so hungry for more of him. It’s all I can do not to phone him, but that might get him in trouble with his wife. He adores her.

I realize I may be a little bit crazy, the way I’m missing him now. Let me know what you think I should do, before I do something stupid!

— Crazy For Him, Headingley

Dear Crazy: Here’s a meditation for you to manifest this kind of person in your life: Brainstorm a list of this man’s qualities and interests, and ask your mind to lead you to places with people like him. You don’t have to work too hard with this sort of mental exercise. Once your mind has this kind of permission, it’ll get busy and come up with ideas.

For instance, you may want a man who likes the same creative or recreational pursuits, humour, travel destinations and music as you do. Or, you may want a zany man who’s brainy and studious and makes you think creatively, like this guy seemed to do.

There are only so many types of brains in the world. You just need to identify more men like this guy you can meet and fall for, but who aren’t already taken.

Then you could have your own brainy prince with a crazy sense of humour!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My son came home with a bruise on his cheek. One of his brothers came home later, and had some inside info. An older girl hit him! He won’t tell me over what. How can I find out? I need to know, in case this is real trouble.

My son is tall and I’ve heard the girls say he’s a “hot for a young guy.” I’m afraid they want to teach him things he doesn’t need to know yet. Maybe, God forbid, he got too pushy with a girl, and got smacked!

— Too Soon, River Heights

Dear Too Soon: If your son refuses to speak to you about it, ask his dad to talk to him. It may be something he’s willing to spill to a man, but not to you.

It’s understandable you’re concerned. If his dad can’t — or just won’t — give you the goods after the conversation, try to let it go. No doubt there have been issues you and your kids have shared just between just two of you, and didn’t feel it necessary to tell your husband, who might over-react.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography