Walk back your harsh words for a happier holiday

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’ve been fighting with my husband over the suitability of the guy our son is dating. Our son is gay, and proud of it, as are we, but this guy he’s dating and now living with is a sponger.

I saw a notebook belonging to my son with a page outlining what his guy owes him in “small loans,” and he’s into our kid for a total of $1,200. I really like my son’s partner personally, and they do really seem to love each other, but I worry about money issues blowing up.

When I questioned my son about it, he was furious at me for snooping. I lost it and told him I was furious with him for being such a sucker.

Now he’s barely talking to me and says he’s not bringing his partner over to our house again. Christmas is coming, and we usually have such a nice family get-together. What should I do?

— Big-Mouth Mom, St. James

Dear Big Mouth: Smooth things over to keep the holiday copacetic for everyone. That means apologizing to your son, even though you think you’re in the right. He will likely guess you don’t entirely mean it, but the apology will enable the holidays to proceed more smoothly.

Your son may realize some of the money he lent his boyfriend is financing some of the Christmas presents to be given to him. It may seem weird, but it’s definitely a possibility since they seem to care about each other a lot.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife has been cheating on me and I’m relieved. I’m hoping we can just split up after our last kid leaves home, shake hands and say goodbye.

I don’t have anybody I’m seeing yet, but I have my eye on someone. We are on a sports team together and she is single and everything my wife is not.

I’m worried if I don’t go after her soon enough she’ll find somebody else. Timing is everything, isn’t it?

Should I give this woman a hint now or wait until I’m actually free of my marriage?

— Anxious to Move, Westwood

Dear Anxious: More attractive than good timing is doing what’s honourable. It’s time to talk to your wife about the state of your relationship and to start working toward a dissolution of the marriage. Then she can go off to whomever she wants, and you can pursue this woman on your team.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m in college and hosting a Christmas party. I’m inviting people from my neighbourhood and old high school mates. Some people really don’t like each other, but I’m selfish and I just want to see the faces of everyone I like and care about.

My best friend is horrified that I’m inviting my exes and other friends’ exes as well. What do you think about me not considering the feelings of people who have broken up meeting face-to-face at my party?

— Selfish Party Host, St. Norbert

Dear Selfish: You just never know which exes might actually get a kick out of running into each other at a party like yours. If people find they don’t like someone at a party, they can talk to someone else on the other side of the room.

Don’t ruin your inclusive party vibe by worrying about a few awkward meetups. You never know, a pair of exes may end back together again thanks to you and your bash.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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