Don’t confront mom over Christmas concerns

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This article was published 25/11/2025 (238 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: What’s up with our mother?

She’s been inviting everyone home for Christmas. In her acceptance cards, she says she has access to enough comfortable bed rentals for everyone this year.

Has she lost her mind? There are six of us grown “kids” plus our mates and young children.

I’m seriously wondering what’s up. Is this possibly going to be someone’s last Christmas on Earth? My partner says I’m always looking for the negative.

Too bad! I just need to know what’s what. Should I secretly ask mom if either she or dad are dealing with serious health issues? It’s really bothering me.

What if somebody is hiding that? And do I really want to know?

— Sensitive Daughter, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Sensitive: You could spoil this big Christmas party by digging up a sad and uncomfortable truth like a fatal illness, making that poor person the focus of pity and sadness. So, just play along and have a wonderful get-together at your parents’ place.

On a happier note, this could just be a Christmas dream your mother has had, and she’s fulfilling it this year. But don’t push her in any way for her reasons. She will tell you if she wants to.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My best friend brought her new “discovery” to our Saturday-night mixed poker event — with couples and singles invited. She confessed to me later, “He just isn’t my style.” Well, he certainly is my type!

He sat between her and me and we secretly exchanged some hilarious remarks. Yes, I think I want my friend’s new guy, but I don’t want any trouble over it. What is the right way to do this? Do I have to ask for this pal’s permission to jump on her cast-off, once she gets rid of him? (And I know she will.) I do love her, but I know she can be very possessive.

— Licking My Chops, West End

Dear Licking My Chops: If you handle things right, she might suggest off-loading him onto you. Then you just have to be careful not to jump at the chance too eagerly! Instead, make sure to respond quietly, “I’d have to think about that for a bit.”

Let her get rid of him on her own schedule, and wait a respectful span of time before you get together with him. Best friends don’t come cheap, and it’s not worth losing her.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve always been intrigued that my wife picked me when she could have had a lot tougher guys in her life. That’s certainly never been me, but she treats me like a tough guy sometimes, and I get a kick out of that.

Last week she said, “It turns me on that you have a hard-boiled detective somewhere in your anatomy, and I love it when he points his gun!” She has quite a few little sayings like that, and it makes her so sexy to me.

I could never love another woman the way I love her. She makes me feel stronger and better than I really am. Why do some guys marry women who cut them down? I will never understand that.

— Her Happy Hero, northern Manitoba

Dear Happy Hero: It’s embarrassing for most people to see one partner take the other one down. Even in jest, the remarks still have a sting, and it’s uncomfortable to witness. A handy reaction to that is something along the lines of, “Well, it’s getting late, folks, and I’m out of here!” even if it’s still early.

Some people need to know it isn’t acceptable to take down another person, especially in company.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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