Neighbourly concern OK, but don’t overstep

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: How could the parents across the street from my house not know their teenage kids get drunk and stoned at parties in their living room when they’re away? I’ve seen quite the behaviour through my binoculars on some nights they’ve thrown a big bash.

The parents go out of town and drink and gamble every weekend. I’ve heard a lot of stories — none of them good.

Their teenagers leave the curtains wide open — they couldn’t care less who sees them stumbling around drunk and smoking dope. It gets dark early now and they leave the lights on bright. They don’t care if neighbours can see them.

What should my wife and I do about this? Some of these kids are driving already and they’re no doubt doing it while impaired.

— Upset Neighbour, West St. Paul

Dear Upset Neighbour: Don’t entangle yourself with this family personally, think about laying off invasive binocular use and stoking the rumour mill.

If you’re seriously worried about impaired driving, contact police and give them the address and some details.

If police do end up attending to the home, close your curtains and let them take care of it, without getting personally involved. The police may get in touch with you later to ask more questions.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a lesbian woman who is longing for children now, but I’ve been keeping it a secret.

I’m a sensitive “true blue” kind of partner and more old-fashioned than my partner.

The whole truth is that I really long for, at 30, a small wedding ceremony, the vows, the wedding rings — the whole thing. And I’d like to adopt a couple children and be the one who stays home to raise the kids.

When I finally confessed my dream to my partner, who gets a big kick out of little kids, she went pale and looked ill.

She accused me of being “false” with her from the beginning. What? I guess the thing is, I didn’t know I wanted kids until I met her, then suddenly I wanted everything, including a family, because she was so kind and wonderful.

What now?

— Serious Trouble, River Heights

Dear Serious: It can be difficult for a relationship when people’s family and lifestyle dreams shift or are even hidden early on for fear of upsetting the romantic apple cart.

Your partner was shocked to hear you wanted her to be the mate who brought in the money, while you stayed home with the kids.

Perhaps you need to look for a different kind of woman who loves her career too much to stay home and who earns enough to happily and somewhat easily support a family.

In this time of rising living costs, it might be easier for you to find a new mate and possibly share being home with kids if you could open your mind to both parents working part-time.

It wouldn’t have to be 50/50, necessarily.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.