Season’s the reason you need mate to match

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/11/2024 (720 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Waking up in the darkness gives me the creeps. My new girlfriend makes fun of me for it, like I’m being a big baby. She complains she has to be the tough one who gets out of bed on cold mornings to turn on all the lights in the house for me.

I’ve told her the big advantage of having me for a boyfriend is I go away in the winter for weeks to months at a time for warmth and sunshine — and I pay for my mate’s travel and lodging.

My former girlfriend travelled with me, and she really appreciated those perks, but she eventually told me she couldn’t have children with me because I’m scared of snow and travel too much. I finally told her to get lost.

My new girlfriend is better suited to my outgoing personality and gift for the gab, and we match well sexually.

Sadly, she actively enjoys Winnipeg winters — skating, hockey and building snowmen. She says she loves to see the snow falling and finds it very romantic. Give me a break.

My goal is to have a business that is totally online so I can go away for the whole winter every year — but it hasn’t happened yet. It certainly will because I refuse to be depressed for six months a year. Canada isn’t the only country on Earth.

Seriously, I would really like to hang on to my new girlfriend. She’s fantastic in most ways, and I can imagine a happy future with her. What can I do here?

— Sun for Sanity, Old St. Vital

Dear Sun: Unfortunately, some people are born in the wrong places on the planet for them. It’s time you and your new girlfriend stopped apologizing for your preferences.

However, since she enjoys wintertime like your previous mate, don’t make the mistake of jumping in any deeper with her. Consider this alternative — travel to a warm country you love this year without a girlfriend and get involved in the local community, rather than just hanging out with tourists. Open yourself up to meeting someone from a different country and possibly even working in that country year-round.

That would mean looking into work permits or residency regulation, as well as finding or creating work there — possibly in some facet of the tourist industry. Start seriously studying a language spoken in a country where you would most like to live, and do it now.

If you did end up working in another country and being in a relationship with someone there, it’s very likely your Canadian family and friends would come down for holidays to visit and meet everybody.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have two men in my love life now, and both of them are good guys.

The first is my ever-so-charming husband who has always been sweet to me, but he cheated on me without a shred of guilt.

He didn’t feel he was getting enough attention because of our six kids. It was totally my dream to have a half-dozen children and he got side-lined a lot of the time. Once the kids were up and out, my husband said he would be true again.

Finally, the kids were gone, and we became in sync once again, and we could have a good sex life together. Little did my husband know, I had also found a sexy friend in the years he was seeing other women.

I had started going out to a lot to music events and met this crazy musician. I started meeting him for coffees, then drinks and along the way we had some very romantic times — and kind of fell in love.

The thing is, I know I should give up my “friend” now, but I haven’t — because I don’t want to. With the new deal my husband offered me of being true again, I feel guilty. What do you suggest?

— Feeling Guilty, Charleswood

Dear Guilty: Your husband had a long habit of seeing more than one woman. You never left him over the cheating and he wasn’t made to feel much guilt about it. Now it’s time to have a talk with him about this new stage of your marriage, and to confess you have a “friend” you’re continuing to see.

To be fair, that door should reopen to your husband as well, which spells an open marriage on both sides. It’s unlikely he’ll kick up too much of a fuss if he’s given the same opportunity to see others — and totally guilt-free this time.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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