Skip the salon; try for a similar vibe at home

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 07/10/2024 (754 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was recently sitting in a vibrating chair getting a pedicure in a salon with my husband sitting right next to me getting his own pedicure, and first vibrating-chair experience.

After a time, he reached over and gave me the private hand signal he uses if he’s really turned on in a public place.

Suddenly I was feeling the same, so I signalled back three squeezes for, “Yes, me too.” We soon paid and got out of there, and ran to the car for some crazy passion, before heading straight home for more.

It was so much fun — at first. Now my husband wants to start getting regular pedicures together for more turn-ons.

I told him no, and said I’d feel weird about that. Now he says I’ve turned into a “killjoy.” But I know the woman who runs the shop, and her staff, and it just feels wrong to purposefully use their little salon for a sexual turn-on. I must admit, though, that one surprise experience was great. What do you think?

— Not a Killjoy, St. Vital

Dear Not a Killjoy: You’re right about this. There’s a big difference between getting accidentally turned on in a surprise situation, and intentionally making appointments to use this shop’s chairs and staff for erotic kicks.

Besides, you won’t feel the same reaction next time, because you’d be self-conscious about it happening, even if your husband wasn’t.

You could do a little role-playing at home, however. Turn on some appropriate music, and use some massage equipment to simulate the chair experience in the shop. It’s worth a try, even if it just ends up in laughter.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: There’s this couple in my neighbourhood who are known for their crazy pool parties with lewd contests and off-the-wall prizes from sex shops. Everybody wants to be invited.

The husband is a big show-off who’s always posting pictures of himself and his wife online, and bragging about what a loving couple they are. Well, I know different.

Recently, the husband cornered me at their final pool party for this long season. He whispered in my ear, “I know you want me, even more than I want you!”

What? No, I don’t! How did it ever come to this? I’m not a flirt and have always kept it a friendship-only situation.

Now he’s told me (and I believe him) that he and his wife have an “open marriage.” Of course he wants everything he sees at his pool.

He’s also been contacting me online and trying to call me, but I won’t respond to his risqué messages. What can I do to shut him down?

— Spinning My Wheels, River Heights

Dear Spinning: The guy in charge of these famous parties may think he wields some power. If you accept that idea, then he actually does. If you don’t, he may laugh it off and then try harder — or be insulted and take you off his party invite list.

Why not beat him to the punch, and take yourself off?

This guy is definitely not a friend, and certainly not anyone you need in your life, since he’s hinted strongly at the price he wants you to pay.

His parties will no longer be much fun now you’ve rejected him, and now he has his malevolent eye on you.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography