You’re teed off, so get into the swing of things

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This article was published 04/05/2024 (870 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband is a serious golf nut. I’d thought I might as well kiss him goodbye for the spring, summer and fall — starting this week. He and his buddies have already been out on the golf courses, even when they have to wear ski jackets.

Unfortunately, I’ve just heard a rumour that my man was being chased by a certain woman last season at the golf club where he has his precious membership! I must admit I wasn’t keeping an eye on him, as I’ve been busy with my new career. Now my eyes are wide open, and I have the actual identity of this woman.

This week I suggested to him I should join his golf club, and he was jolted — a sign of shock. I said I thought I’d start taking golf lessons there. He was clearly alarmed by that. He said way too loudly, “Why would you do that? You don’t even like golf! You never even come to the golf course unless it’s to pick me up, and then leave as fast as you can.”

I said, “And that’s the way you like it, right? Well, I’ve changed my mind after last season’s shenanigans, and you know exactly what I mean!” He actually blushed. A girlfriend of mine reported that this certain woman was openly flirting with my husband at his club and they golfed together as a duo all the time.

I told him that and he said he “wasn’t flirting back,” but I don’t believe him and I’m not taking a chance. I love my husband despite his faults, and I will not have some other woman stealing him. In your opinion, is it going too far to join his precious golf club, when I know he doesn’t want me to?

— Suspicious Mind, South Winnipeg

Dear Suspicious: People who are not misbehaving — whether it’s flirting, casual sex or a full-blown love affair — generally don’t go red and put up a fuss if their marriage partner wants to join their golf club.

Having said that, some people are very possessive of their clubs and close friends there — even if nothing sneaky is going on. Join up for this summer at least, and find out what’s really happening.

Be sure to introduce yourself to the woman in question right off the top, and let her know you’re on the scene now, you love your husband and you’re asserting yourself.

Do not shy away from her. Make this other woman feel your power and know your intent — if anybody quits that club, it will be her!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’ve just come down from living and working up north all winter, and I loved it. The problem is I want to move up there and work permanently, and take my sweet mate who still lives here in Winnipeg. She just said, “Over my dead body!”

I replied: “I’d hoped it wouldn’t come to that.” She didn’t laugh.

Seriously, there aren’t enough women up north and taking a partner with me is preferable if I want to settle there — and I certainly do! What do you think?

— In Love With the North, Manitoba

Dear In Love: If you get together with your southern belle and try to transplant her, she probably won’t last long in the season of 40-below and blowing snow.

It’d probably work better for you to partner up with a woman who also already loves the North and wants to live and work there.

It might make more sense for you to first sign on to the best job you can find up there. Then go there free and single, and look for women who work up there and really enjoy the life. You need someone who loves the beautiful terrain, the hardy people and the lifestyle — and who will last up there.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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