Boyfriend’s body-art denial sure sounds sketchy

Opinion

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This article was published 07/05/2024 (521 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Somebody drew something on my boyfriend’s bare back — a train engine and two cars. It was small but detailed and it had to have taken some time. To my shock, I saw it the night he came home from a sports trip, and he took off his shirt to come to bed with me at my apartment.

I yelled, ”You have a train on your back!” and he said, “No I don’t” and he’s sticking to that. Talk about the old sports team motto, “Deny, deny, deny!” He’d just come back from a team trip where there was a lot partying. No doubt, there were girls involved, but he still won’t admit anything.

If it were an innocent drawing on his back done by somebody else’s girlfriend, he would have told me, right? But they couldn’t bring girlfriends on the trip. I think I should break up with him, but he isn’t admitting anything. What do you think?

— Upset Girlfriend, South Winnipeg

Dear Girlfriend: Something happened that shouldn’t have happened, and your boyfriend has probably been advised to “just shut up.” It could have been a girl who did the drawing, and it could have been a guy — either choice is not attractive for the girlfriend discovering it.

You may choose to look the other way because this boyfriend hasn’t admitted anything, but the evidence is there that something possibly intimate was going on during the sports trip — some kind of deception. How long can you live with that?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband wants to go to the lake for the entire summer and work from there, online. I don’t mind the lake for a summer, but being there with my husband 24-7 would drive me nuts! So, I went out and got myself a summer gardening job in the city, and just announced I’m not going to go out to the lake during the week — just on weekends.

My guy is beyond angry. He said yesterday that if I won’t go with him he “doesn’t owe it to me to act married.” I’m aware of all the younger women with children out there, with husbands in the city, and he really does love to flirt. What can I do to settle this?

— Determined, West End

Dear Determined: You’ve made this choice because being with your man 24-7 is too much for you. You will have to shrug off his veiled threats of unfaithfulness. In the interests of compromise and togetherness, a lot of spouses who can’t work online at the lake happily drive out Friday nights and come back early on Monday mornings. That’s two days and three nights a week together. Plus, if you want a little more time together in certain weeks, your new boss might be able to work that out with part-time staff.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I did some spring cleaning and crawled up into the attic. There I found a heavy item rolled up in a dusty old blanket, inside a canvas bag. It turned out to be my missing saxophone. She even had a name — Ruby! My wife and kids hated Ruby, and she went missing last summer at a Grand Beach party.

I thought she must have ended up in the sand dunes and somebody took her home. Ruby doesn’t sound quite so good now, but my wife isn’t even embarrassed about bagging her and hiding her away. What can I do to make this right?

— Sax Man Rides Again! Transcona

Dear Sax Man: Why not get Ruby cleaned and tuned up? Then go out and take some lessons, so you sound great for a change. Also consider joining a band part-time to have some fun playing with Ruby far from your wife’s delicate ears.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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