Give cabin crush a subtle shot, but don’t dwell on it

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/07/2023 (1141 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just returned from a two-week holiday where I fell for the man who rented me a cabin — he’s single and works in a nearby town. I really want to see him again.

Should I try to rent from him another time this season, just to see his face and that body, and to hear his voice? My friends say, “Go for it!” but would that seem too forward, like I was chasing him?

I guess I am, really. Is there anything a bit more subtle I could pull off, living 100-plus kilometres away? Is it a turnoff to be unsubtle? I got the feeling he really liked me, but a good guy wouldn’t hit on his renter. But I want him to do that, in the worst way! What do you suggest? I know he’s a bit shy.

— Repeat Renter? Manitoba

Dear Repeat Renter: A shy cabin owner would never try to hit on a renter, so you’ll have to make subtle moves. If he’s friendly and responds to hints about getting to know him better, you could try to invite him for a drink or dinner — but only try once. If he gets awkward and embarrassed, call your friends to come up to the lake, put the flirting project behind you and forget about it — and just have some fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m the jailbird of the family. I made a big mistake recently when I called my sister and tried to make up with her after five years of her not speaking to me.

She said, “Who’s calling? I don’t know anybody by that name. I used to have a brother by that name, but he was such a jerk, I kicked him out of my life.” Click!

I looked at the phone for a minute in shock, and finally hung up, feeling hurt and embarrassed. I put my hand to my face and felt tears, and realized I was crying. I’m a guy who has probably cried three times in my whole adult life!

My little sister stopped talking to me because I made a series of big mistakes, and I ended up in jail. Apparently she was so ashamed to be related to a jailbird, she disowned me and wouldn’t even say my name.

I heard she tells people she only has one sister, and no brothers! It hurts so much to be nothing to your big sister. I loved her so much when we were growing up.

I went to jail over drugs, and have long since cleaned up. I don’t drink either, and I do a lot of charity work and help other guys to find work and start living well. If my sister had given me a chance, she could have finally been proud of me! Should I totally give up, or try something else?

— No Longer a Jailbird, Winnipeg

Dear No Longer a Jailbird: It’s likely your sister could do with more information. She was probably in shock when you called — it may have felt a bit like an ambush.

Instead, try writing her a letter about your new life, something she can read and re-read at her leisure. Put all your contact info in it and invite her to respond. Then, let it sit for the summer.

Call her back in the fall if she hasn’t responded. That’s the time of new learning when people often try new things. Then, she might even agree to meet you with one of her friends or a family member. It could be, that like you, she’s so emotional about this situation, she’s a dam that might burst if she has no support with her.

Whatever happens, remember her birthday and holidays with cards and become part of the periphery of her life. Someday, when she gets used to the idea of you being “back in the world,” she might invite you in closer.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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