Bad-boy obsession will only lead to a dead end

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This article was published 08/07/2023 (1122 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was so bored with my current marriage I made a secret date with an old boyfriend of mine — a bad boy. I must confess we’re both married, but he’s not a one-woman type and never has been, which drove me crazy. He agreed to meet me in public for safety’s sake — my stipulation. He was always a gentleman.

We kept our heads, and also kept our hands off each other. Then, it was so frustrating afterwards I couldn’t stand it, and called him again. We met after dark in a park, and one thing naturally led to another. I can’t stop thinking about him now! He’s just having fun with me, I know, and he never seems to suffer any guilt! On the other hand, I’m falling for him again emotionally, and I know myself. Please help.

— Got the Bad Boy Blues, Charleswood

Dear Bad Boy Blues: If you keep seeing this sexy womanizer, it’s going to end up approximately where it did before. The physical attraction and satisfaction is much higher than it is with your current marriage partner, but this ex-lover would never be true to you. Why? That’s not his style, and he has no qualms about multiple partners.

It’s time to take yourself into private counselling, since you’re experiencing angst in both your relationships. You need to find freedom from the misery that’s just starting to balloon. Also, this isn’t fair to your husband. He deserves the freedom to find a woman who both loves and desires him.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m divorced and finally dating a great guy who went after getting his own personal health and fitness under control. He looks so darn handsome now, it makes my heart want to pop out of my chest! The only problem is he’s still wearing his heavy-guy clothes, and they look bad, like he’s drowning in fabric, especially across the bum.

He’s wearing old-man clothes and he’s only 44. I’ve told him, but he says he’s “not worried about it.” Well, guess what? I am! I want us to look strong and proud when we go out. How can I show him the way?

— Lucky Lady, St. Vital

Dear Lucky Lady: Since clothing is not a big deal to your guy, tread lightly. Ask him to go for lunch and a short shopping trip for a few clothes, for both of you.

First, you’ll need to know what his new sizes are, and who better to measure him up than you? . This part could be fun! Then find out what colours work or bomb, for you both, using one of the popular colour assessment books currently on the market.

Before the shopping trip, research jean shops that hem customer choices while they wait. Then hit a few other stores for summer casuals, and a few dress-up clothes for dates and parties. The next time out, shop for cool sunglasses for both of you. Just be careful not to get too bossy, or he’ll lose enthusiasm and shut it right down.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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