Keep it fun and friendly with overheard tidbits

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Our youngish neighbours often sleep with their bedroom windows open when it’s nice outside and there’s no smoke.

Sometimes people get carried away when they’re in bed together and certain sex-related comments can be overheard. The couple nearest us use a series of animal names for each other, and they just crack us up.

My crazy wife loves this and has, for a joke, started imitating them when we have our windows closed, but one night recently, when it was clear and we forgot our windows were open, she went into a repertoire of the animal names with me that she had picked up from our neighbours. (My personal favourite — “Come on, king of the beasts!” — just cracks me up.)

However, the next day there was a note in our mailbox saying, “We don’t imitate you, so don’t imitate us or you’ll soon be sorry. LOL.”

Was that a dare? If so, should we bring it on?

— Can’t Un-Hear It, Winnipeg

Dear Can’t Un-Hear: A dollar-store trophy sitting on their doorstep one morning might be fun, and the couple would probably be amused rather than offended because you’re not ridiculing them so much as praising them, albeit in fun. So keep things light and make sure you remember when your windows are open.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a younger street musician recently who reminded me so much of a former long-haired university love of mine who was also a singer. I couldn’t stop myself from saying hello.

I told the guy I dated a busker at one time, and asked if he knew my ex. He lit up and said he did, it was his uncle.

I talked a bit about him and mentioned that I thought he was the best singer.

His nephew’s face kind of fell, and then he recovered. Then, making a big show of dialling a number on his phone, he said in a game-show-host-like voice: “I have a beautiful woman from your past you might want to say hello to.” He sounded a bit sarcastic, frankly.

What could I do? It was awkward, but also kind of sweet, to hear my ex-boyfriend’s deep and sexy voice. We talked for five minutes and he said he was happily married but told me to still be sure to call him if I was ever in his town and come over to his house for a visit.

Did he even mean this? We were all talking on speaker together.

— Mixed Up, St. James

Dear Mixed Up: These relatives are definitely cut from the same grandstanding cloth. The young man was even a little annoyed when you said his uncle was the best. Then the older man made his pitch bigger by suggesting you drop in to see him when you’re in his town. He knew darn well his wife wouldn’t be seconding that invitation.

Please send your questions to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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