What’s wrong with a fun summer sweetheart?

Opinion

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into an old boyfriend of mine at a sports tournament recently and we’ve been seeing each other ever since. He wants to be open about us, but I’m fairly certain it won’t last because he’s still the same pain in the butt.

Our crazy situation is we dated during a couple of summers, but it never works out past the fall.

Some of my girlfriends will surely be laughing behind their hands. This guy and I will be golfing and playing tennis all summer again, and the relationship will probably just crash again in the autumn.

— Crazy Twosome, Interlake

Dear Crazy Twosome: Beat your girlfriends to the obvious joke by calling your sporty relationship something silly like “Our annual summer madness.”

Laugh about it good-naturedly and have another great season together. Who knows — this summer may be different as you can never really predict how a romance will play out.

Be aware that some of your pals may not be overly excited about their same old marriage partners while you’re having a sizzler of a summer, again. If someone has a few too many drinks and teases you, just say, “Well, we’re having a great time. How’s your sex life these days?”

Then smile and quickly change the subject, letting them off the hook but showing you will not be bullied.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a married middle-aged man, but I’m not sure why we actually decided to formally tie the knot a couple of years ago.

We used to have a lot of fun together before our vows, and I’m not sure why we actually got married except that we both love to travel and thought it might make things smoother entering some countries as husband and wife.

I tried my best in the beginning to give us a shot at a long-term union, but all I got was her increasing negativity. It’s hard to live with a mate whose concerns are mostly material.

The bottom line is we’re pretty much finished as a couple, but she doesn’t want to sell our house, especially with summer already here. But it’s really the best time to sell.

I’ve been afraid to break up with her and have her say bad things to other people about me. I have been wanting to escape the marriage, but I have a great job and want to protect my image. I’m starting to feel trapped and depressed. How do I break things off?

— Seriously Worried, St. Norbert

Dear Seriously Worried: It’s important not to remain isolated and trapped in a relationship that will further wear down your physical and mental health, so make the decision to finally split and some of the pressure will be gone.

Decide what you can’t do without, materially, and be prepared to bargain with the rest to get your freedom.

Once material goods are gone or become less of a concern, newly single people often don’t miss them very much and may feel freer to really connect with someone new in a better frame of mind.

You can always replace material possessions or property down the road, and the novelty of a new home can help erase some of those past regrets — if there are any.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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