Offer of hospitality could liven up empty nest

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This article was published 27/08/2024 (758 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Is everyone on Facebook living their best life except me? I’m having a difficult time looking at the great photos and posts about what a full and exciting life they are all living!

I was a single mother who worked a demanding career while raising a family and now I’m a retired empty-nester with a big home right near the University of Manitoba but I have nobody at home to talk with or cook for.

My family doesn’t live close enough to drop in regularly — they all live in the Birds Hill area. I’m lonely and don’t know what to do to make a life with some fun in it again. I do have some nieces and nephews around university age who are very fond of me. I’d love to have them stay when they go to university, if their parents would help out financially.

Is that asking too much? Should I mention it?

— Lonely Auntie, Fort Richmond

Dear Lonely Auntie: You are situated right near the University of Manitoba, and you have a big home, so why not suggest to close relatives you’d consider hosting your nieces and nephews, when they’re ready to start at the big campus.

It’s not easy for kids to leave home and everything they know, and your nieces and nephews might want to continue living in their homes across town while going to school, but it’s still worth making the offer.

You are more than ready to recreate a homey environment for people you care about; at least invite the “kids” and their parents over for dinner and let them have a look at what you would share as a host and primary cook if they were take up lodgings at your place.

However, before you do anything, check out all the rules and regulations that have tightened up after some of the more disreputable landlords around universities started packing students into unsafe and nasty spaces.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife took off last weekend to her sister’s place, because she was mad at me again for going out gambling. Why was she worrying? I always win my losses back! Sometimes it takes a little while, but she’s not patient enough.

Then my wife came home at the end of last weekend with her nose in the air. She’s been away visiting relatives. I’m in shock! Apparently, she’s leaving me and moving to her sister’s town in a different country “where people are sober and decent.”

— Angry Husband, Transcona

Dear Angry Husband: Your wife has opted for a happier life, without an addicted partner making her sad, angry and lonely. She has decided not to stay home on weekends waiting for her gambling husband to come home.

Maybe that fact isn’t enough to make you want to quit yet. Maybe it never will be. But if your wife does stay away, and you know you’re really losing her, the excitement of rolling the dice may finally fade.

Consider calling Gamblers Anonymous (gamblersanonymous.org) or the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba (afm.mb.ca/programs-and-services/gambling) about your gambling problem, even if you’re not quite ready and you’re full of doubts about doing it. Ask how they can help a person lose the attraction to gambling.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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