You can’t provide younger mate any more to stay

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/07/2024 (831 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I used to have a sorry-looking girlfriend because she only had a part-time job and no money for clothes, her hair or other womanly stuff. Now she looks great, and she also has a car I bought her to get around. I also found her a job she likes with people I know who run a good business.

Now there’s a problem. Other guys are looking at her and she has started looking back.

I started noticing this recently at the bars we go to, and especially at the casino. I guess I should mention she’s younger than me by almost 20 years.

I don’t know what to do next. I want to keep her happy and with me because I love her. What else can I do for her?

— Scared to Rock the Boat, St. Boniface

Dear Scared: Promising your young girlfriend more fancy things might keep her around a while longer, but chances are she’s going to respond to one of the guys who are flirting with her — especially if they’re her age.

You need to talk with her before this boat drifts any further out to sea.

Since you sense your younger woman is already starting to wander, you might check out the song, You Don’t Own Me by Lesley Gore.

The time has come to talk to your girlfriend about where she wants her life to go next. She may be grateful to you but ready to spread her wings and fly in another direction.

For the safety of your own heart in the future, you’re going to need to start looking at woman a little closer to your own age who want to stay with you for better, sweeter reasons than this woman.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: In response to the letter from the dog owner whose pet doesn’t want to go back into dog daycare, you suggested a new daycare or a private home’s daycare.

I suggest people not own dogs and drop them off at a dog daycare like this. They are pack animals that will attach to those they know. Bringing it to a daycare to be socialized may seem a good idea, but these other dogs are not its pack.

It’s sad that humans have taken away the freedom and wildness of animals then put the animal in uncomfortable situations .

— Concerned for Dog, Manitoba

Dear Concerned: It’s cruel to force a dog to get back into a scary caretaking situation simply because they can’t tell you the story of the bad thing that’s happened, or keeps happening. Also, it’s unacceptable to make them stay simply because the daycare is located conveniently near the owner’s home.

When owners aren’t there to witness what’s going on, their animal can only pull back from re-entering the place that scares them. This dog was definitely exhibiting huge stress in contrast to his happy behaviour before. Something bad and scary started happening to him there. It could be a new daycare dog who bullies him, or a new human caretaker who seriously upsets him.

At a small, private doggie daycare in a home, this dog might fit right in and feel like he’s found his daytime pack. The dog’s owners would need to be willing to test out a few places and move on if it still isn’t a good fit. Yes, it takes time, but your animal is like your child, and totally worth it.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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