Sked dread a summer bummer for mom

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m a working mom in my 50s and I love Winnipeg in the summer — all the cultural festivals, concerts and crazy events it has to offer.

So I told my 20-something kids I would come out to our lake cabin for only a couple of June and July weekends, but then join them out there with their dad as well for an unbroken two-week stretch in late-August.

However, I worry I’ll just be cooking and organizing while I’m out there! My bossy eldest daughter made up a cooking schedule, so everybody has a special dinner where they have cook, organize people to bring things, run the barbecue and entertain with a group game afterwards. It’s going well for July, but nobody has signed up for duties in August when we’ll all be out there to enjoy the last of the summer.

I spent summer after summer covering that entire duty calendar for my kids, so it’d be nice to actually relax when I’m out there later this year. So, now what?

— Worried Mom, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Worried: While, in theory, your daughter’s dinner-duty calendar can be a great idea, why not have word with your adult kids about suspending the “voluntary” schedule while you’re out there this August.

Don’t be harsh about it, but just tell them you need a break this year, and that you’ll lend a hand here and there — if you so desire. Let them know you’re also around to advise them on any issues that may arise.

Then, next summer, you can all get on the same page with your daughter’s duty schedule and spread the work out evenly among you.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We’re stuck here in the city with our family business, which caters to summer sports and fun activities, so we don’t really get to relax until the end of September.

But this year nobody wants to plan an international holiday like we usually do for a few weeks in the autumn — because of the political climate out there. I’m so disappointed!

— Need Help With Ideas, Assiniboia

Dear Needing Help: People really seem to have need to feel safe right now. So how about a fun western Canadian holiday?

You could fly out to Vancouver for a big concert or event and then take the ferry to Vancouver Island for a couple days of touring.

You could also consider a train sojourn to Banff in the Rocky Mountains, and then head to Calgary for shopping, great dinners and a comfy hotel before you hop a flight home.

It could be just what you need — an adventure that’s Canadian, low-stress and perfect for your family.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend’s mother doesn’t like me, but her husband likes me way too much. It’s awkward, but I’d swear he was down-and-dirty flirting with me when we were up at their cottage recently. Even when we were out swimming and boating, her dad just wouldn’t leave me alone.

Finally our friend and her boyfriend came to visit us by boat, and they took us out for a long afternoon cruise on the lake.

My girlfriend’s dad was sulking when we got back. I caught him staring at me after dinner, and I know that look. I’ve had it from guys before. Finally, I just lost I and said in a loud whisper: “What are you looking at?” He said “Nothing!” and his wife glared at him.

I asked my girlfriend to drive us home early “because of a pounding headache from the sun.” She knew the real reason why, and was very quiet. How do I tell her I’ll never go back up there again?

— So Uncomfortable, Sage Creek

Dear Uncomfortable: You don’t have to tell her! Your girlfriend saw what was going on, and the two of you will not be heading back out here anytime soon because of her father’s visible crush and, I’m quite certain, her mom’s discomfort.

Look, it’s really not your fault! It’s definitely very awkward, and your partner is likely already planning to have a word with her mother about her dad’s unacceptable behaviour.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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