Stunning smooch signals serious snafu

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: A woman kissed me deeply at my 40th birthday party while we were out smoking cigarettes on the back step, alone. She was tipsy and I was reeling, but it was great to be with her there.

I wasn’t feeling happy about being older, and my wife isn’t interested in me sexually that much anymore. But this woman grabbed me and pulled me outside on the step, saying “Come here, birthday boy. I want to give you a present!” It was the longest, wildest kiss I ever had.

Then I heard the door rattling and her husband yelling her name. I jumped off the step and ran around to the front of the house to safety. So much for that intense embrace.

To be honest, I can think of nothing else these days. Her husband is a big, volatile guy, unlike me, but every day now I want to phone his woman for another meetup, and go after this thing that’s still burning. This is not finished for me, and maybe not for her. So what now?

— Burning Man, St. James

Dear Burning Man: Your over- reaction to this titillating kiss is a message from your brain telling you something important. It’s crisis time in your marriage. So either work to fix your relationship wife or consider splitting up.

As for the hot kisser, consider the possibility it may have been a “mini-cheat” allowed once in a while by the rules of their marriage. If either of is them drunk at a party and kisses somebody, it may just be viewed as a minor transgression they blame on the booze.

No matter the state of a relationship, it can be very dangerous coming between two people when one is known to be quick to anger or prone to violence.

It’s time to face the fact your marriage requires fixing, or nixing. If you both want to save it, it’s time to go for counselling to find out how to stay together and be happier. Facing the truth and finally acting on it could be your best birthday gift to yourself.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I brought a puppy home to our new hobby farm for my husband recently, and he was so delighted he now takes the little guy everywhere with him in the truck. Cute.

But get this — twice now he has revisited the place I got the dog “so our pup can say hello to his mom and any puppies left.”

I asked to go with him next time and he said no a bit too loudly and quickly, and then changed the subject. It felt odd.

I’m aware this breeder was at our wedding with a friend of my husband’s and I also know that years ago she dated my man for a summer and then dumped him.

I’d like to think it’s no big deal, but something’s bothering me about the situation. I guess it could be innocent, but what do you think?

— Trust Shaken, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Trust Shaken: This definitely sounds suspicious, and as his wife you have every right to bring it up and hopefully stop it.

Instead of fretting, tell your husband exactly what you’re feeling. (He may actually be wondering when you’re going to speak up.)

So take a deep breath and do it.

Ask your husband how he would feel if the roles were reversed, and if he would actually accept it was all down to your pooch visiting his littermates.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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