Spend the New Year’s Eve countdown in bed

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 31/12/2016 (3560 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I can’t afford to go out and spend much money on New Year’s Eve, but 2016 was such a bad year for the world, we need to celebrate a brand-new 2017 with joy and hope. It’s very important to me. We would love to have a little baby this year. So, I’m wondering if you could give us a last-minute idea in the newspaper for a great New Year’s Eve for me, my husband, my best friend and her husband? We’ll be watching the paper. We’re four financially challenged, fun people in our late 20s and early 30s. Please help us, Miss L.! — New Year’s Eve Hopefuls, Winnipeg

Dear NYE Hopefuls: Olé! You will create your own Mexican-themed dinner, with fresh salsa and tortilla chips to start and everybody chopping the ingredients together in the kitchen. Mexican dinners are inexpensive, spicy and fun, and you can have a burrito-rolling competition for a prize. All that spice wakes up your taste buds, and your sensual energy fields. Light lots of candles around the room, and play some Mexican music. Get up and salsa dance around the table!

Then leave the dishes in the sink and hustle off to hit the 8 p.m. fireworks display at The Forks and check out the mainstage music showcase featuring artists such as the Bros. Landreth, Rayannah and Sheena. Now run home before midnight and make some positive New Year’s resolutions together on folded pieces of paper that you can keep secret if you want.

Say “hasta la vista” to your friends in time for both couples to be back in their bedrooms to “do what you want to be doing even more of” at the midnight countdown to 2017. That’s the old superstition, after all! In your case you’ll be practising to make a baby. Have fun!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I heard from my girlfriend that her two best friends are making their bad boyfriends their New Year’s resolutions — no more of them in January. They are getting the boot.

I’m deeply in love with my girlfriend and know she loves me, but I’m scared at some level. These guys don’t know what’s about to hit them. If my sweetie doesn’t break up with me now, will she find that having two single friends going dancing and meeting new guys will make her want to be free as well? — Anxious Boyfriend, Westwood

Dear Anxious Boyfriend: She probably wouldn’t have told you so openly about these two girlfriends and their nefarious plans if that was her plan too. Your best bet is not to convey your worries. Treat her well, as I trust you always do, and act like a winner. Nobody finds nervousness and lack of confidence attractive.

Think about this: if she does drift away once her girlfriends are single and partying, then she wasn’t right one and wasn’t in love with you to begin with. So what have you lost? You are free to look for a different young woman who loves you as much as you love her. Hold your head up!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I are in our mid-60s. We love each other, but sex has been a challenge recently. Hormonal changes and aging issues are stopping us from enjoying sex. I have some marginal erectile-dysfunction issues and she has trouble reaching orgasm, even with her toys, which I encourage. It has become a detriment to our relationship.

We have both struggled with cancer, but are fit and healthy. Because of a breast-cancer battle, my wife is restricted from certain medications. At times, we feel hopeless. We want to continue having a good sex life but don’t know where to turn. Can you suggest a sex counsellor in Manitoba who is skilled at meeting the needs of retired folks? — Healthy, Horny and Hurting, Manitoba

Dear Healthy, Horny and Hurting: Is there something further you can do about the erectile dysfunction you haven’t tried? How about naturopathic methods? Is it advisable for your situation, or even safe, for you to take Viagra or Cialis?

Also, what have you and your wife tried for the psychological aspect, which can be the biggest problem? Could you see a psychologist together and apart? Is there too much concentrating on technique and success and the loving affection has gone to the bottom of the bed?

Here’s one tip: your wife probably doesn’t like you to hand her a toy at the end of a sexual buildup with expectations of her orgasm because the warm body connection women need is suddenly lost. Maybe that’s the time to satisfy her orally instead?

I will send you a short list of therapists by email.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6