ID’ing mystery gifter will take a bit of work

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This article was published 16/12/2025 (295 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I just got a mystery Christmas gift that was left in my mailbox, all tied up with red and silver ribbons. If I was to guess, I’d say it was expertly wrapped at a store. Curiosity made me open it right away.

Inside was a tie clip with four initials on it. Only someone who knows me intimately would have all four initials — and it wouldn’t be a family member doing this kind of thing, because they’re too serious and religious. I’m a gay man, so that leaves past boyfriends, as I have no one in my love life now.

I just don’t want to embarrass myself by asking around and being wrong! What can I do identify the sender? Also, what is it supposed to mean — sending me an anonymous present that looks like it cost a lot to make?

— Obsessed By Gift, Fort Richmond

Dear Obsessed: Anonymous presents are much more fun for the giver than they are for the poor, befuddled giftee. Unless the recipient is fond of a puzzle they can’t easily solve, this kind of move can leave a person scratching their head.

Are you losing sleep and just dying to know who the sender is? Then your only choice is to fall into the trap and call up old loves and ask them!

The one who laughs and seems most delighted to get the call will probably the sender.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife just phoned to say she’s leaving me. She was calling from her sister’s home in a smaller Manitoba city. She says she’s not coming back because I cheated on her with her sister. Her sister just confessed to her about it after they got drunk together.

I said, “And did your sister not mention the fact she’s been after me since we got married, calling me on my work phone and inviting me for ‘sleepovers’ when I’m on the road?”

She threw down the phone and went hunting for her sister and started screaming at her, while I was still on the call.

Now it looks like I’m losing both sisters. Should I even care?

— Angry and Turned Off, River Heights

Dear Angry and Turned Off: When you have to ask if you should care, you already don’t!

Was there love, warmth or even deep passion between anybody in this triangle? You have nothing emotional to lose by backing off completely — and neither do these two women.

Despite the outburst you heard on the phone call, maybe it was just a game to them, with little emotion for you.

Have they “shared” boyfriends before? You might ask that question — and probably be surprised at the answer.

Some duos — like siblings or best friends — make a sport out of pursuing sex partners they share. It’s not a popular “game,” owing to the explosive jealousy it can result in, but it does exist.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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