Beach meeting was nice coincidence, not a sign

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/08/2024 (440 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran smack into my first love at Winnipeg Beach last week. We were 17 and 18 and just finishing high school when we were in love that summer, and working at that very beach.

We definitely don’t look the same now, but we were both wearing red shirts and red baseball caps last week, which was our secret sign for finding each other on the sand. So, was our meeting meant to be?

I always wear red when I come back to Manitoba and visit the lake, and there she was, doing the same! We sat on the sand and talked for a whole hour. Then we had to go. So sad!

We live in two different provinces now, and she was back visiting family. It felt like magic, like it was meant to be. The big question: Should we start talking online? We’re bisexual women, both married to nice men, and we both have kids now. Would it be dangerous?

— Tempted to Start Again, Manitoba

Dear Tempted: Some people make the mistake of thinking long-distance romances can’t cause trouble “in real life.” But they definitely can. The red shirt-and-hat signal on the beach was not proof of lost love, but showed a real curiosity as to what happened to one another. Be glad you found out, but don’t take it as a sign you need to be together again.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife and I finished our vacation stint with quite a shock. On the last day we were packing up and asked the cabin owner if we could rent the same place for the month of July next season. He said a flat “no.” When my wife pushed for a different time, he said, “I own the cabin. I don’t have to give you a reason why I don’t want you folks back.”

My wife knew the woman renting next door, and asked her if she might know why he said that. She said, “Oh, he’s an old bachelor, and he makes it a policy to only rent to women, if he can.” Is that creepy?

— Rejected, St. James

Dear Rejected: Don’t press the issue with this old “bachelor,” who may be busy trying to stock his harem for summer 2025.

Rent a different place where you’re actually welcome to enjoy the cabin, lake and beach. Who needs bad karma on a holiday?

Be aware that when people are renting out their properties, and don’t like a person who wants a second rental, a fast and easy excuse is, “We’re already booked up.” This kind of rejection only merits a slight shrug of the shoulders. You don’t really want to hear what the guy doesn’t like about you, your wife and your kids!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new guy is a dog person who has never had a marriage or started a family.

However, he has a “family” all the same — dogs who bark like crazy.

My man has had “relationships” with different women for almost 25 years now. As he says, “When my relationships are over now, they’re over — no kids to fight over, and my dogs belong to me.”

He’s in his late 40s, and not looking to ever get married, or so he says.

Well, I have three kids and a recent ex-husband, since last Christmas. The children stay at my ex’s place every second weekend when I stay at my new boyfriend’s country home. But he and I can never go anywhere — not even to the lake for a whole weekend (which I love), because of his fur babies.

This guy simply won’t leave his “old pups.” He won’t even hire someone to come feed them, not even his neighbour. I’m feeling sad now, and wondering where can this relationship possibly go?

— Left Out of Fur Family, Sage Creek

Dear Left Out: Those “pups” make an excellent buffer for a guy who doesn’t want a human family. Your new man has already chosen his style of relationship — non-marriage and “pups” instead of a wife and kids living at his country home.

A guy who wants to share in mainly raising human children would be a much better choice for you! Then, every second weekend you’d get to be alone with your new partner. That means you’d be free to enjoy the romantic and sexual part of an adult relationship and do a little travelling to lake country, which you are missing.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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